Browse all poems and songs in the 'Washington Nationals' Category


Bride of All-Star Clerihews

Wilson Ramos
Has become famos
As catcher for the Nats–
Must be the way that he squats.

Francisco Lindor
Likes to golf indoors.
As dangerous as his home gets,
His kids have learned to wear helmets.

Michael Saunders
When his mind meanders
Imagines himself in toque, cape and shorts
Savior of the Great White North.

Matt Wieters
Is such a fussy eater
On every dinner date
He asks an ump to brush his plate.

 



Bryce is Nice

by Stu Shea

The harpies harp on Harper
They say he’s immature
I’ll take him and his moods
Whether pure, poor, or manure.

 



Bryce Harper’s Lament

I seen some pitchers scared of my bat
Paint the corners, standing pat
What about them “unwritten rules”?
Pitch me straight and you’ll get schooled

Oh baby, that’s hard to change
I can’t tell them how to pitch
High inside, low away
Sooner or later, I’ll crush that bitch

Walk on, walk on, walk on, walk on . . .

 



2015 MLB MVPs

by the Village Elliott

This year’s league MVPs have been won
By Bryce Harper and Josh Donaldson.
Bryce was unanimous,
Though Nats missed playoff bus,
While Josh powered the Jays’ playoff run.

 



Snake Bit

by the Village Elliott

When promoting men, Napoleon stuck
With this principle, “I look for luck.”
He would not buck the odds
And offend Baseball Gods
Shutting down Strasburg like a dumb schmuck.

Nats seem clueless and snake bit to me
Since the Strasburg Shut-Down travesty;
‘Fourteen’s Playoff Game Two:
Belt’s home run “lucky,” too;
Papelbon trade upset chemistry.

Dusty Baker will manage D.C.
Buddy’s tenure with Nats not to be;
Did Nats react to claim,
That “Black” in Bud’s last name,
Ain’t what league meant by diversity?

Seems like Dusty’s a bit snake bit, too,
Since Jints Series Game Six in ‘Ought Two,
His Cubs sure got jiggley
Post-Bartman in Wrigley,
Posey’s Granny bid his Reds adieu . . .

Months after our softball season’s through,
Pitcher our team beat still had no clue.
“Schedule and your team suck,
Only beat us by luck!”
“Yeah, we’re lucky we were playing you.”

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.