Teamless

by Ellen Adair

With apologies to Lord Byron

I had a dream that was not all a dream.
Some large misfortune overtook the coasts,
And their tall cities were abandoned, only the blown
Forgotten newsprint scuttling down the street.
Exiled elsewhere, I marveled at the ways
That life persists: baseball was still played
By all the teams based in central states,
Their match-ups limited and circular,
While only ghosts played in my home parks,
Swinging blind at nothing in the moonless air.
Who’s my team now, I thought. No Phillies, Sox,
Or A’s. No Mets. Is it the Diamondbacks?

 

Ellen Adair is an actor, with recurring roles on shows like “The Sinner,” “Homeland,” and “Bull,” and a contributing analyst to the MLB Network show “Off Base.” Their book of poetry, Curtain Speech, is available from Pen & Anvil Press. They also host the podcasts “Take Me In to the Ballgame” and “Love Takes Action,” and draws baseball players by commission.

Property Protection

by Randy Johnson

I don’t own a gun
but I keep a bag of baseballs
near our bed.
If someone breaks in
they better be wearing a
batting helmet
because
I’m going to be throwing
at their head.

All-Star Clerihews

Jose Abreu
DJ LaMahieu
And Hyun-Jin Ryu
Are my first triple-header All-Star clerihew!

Ketel Marte
Is a portable partay!
He’ll enjoy your booze
Whatever brand of vodka you choose

Jake Odorizzi
Better take it easy
And resist all that’s there to seduce and shock
On Cleveland’s red-light block.

Paul DeJong
Wears a lucky spangled thong
When the Cards are on a winning streak–
That guy’s a SuperFreak!