Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.
Dave Kingman would give it his all
Each powerful swing at the ball
But, missing, he’d spin
And, to his chagrin
Would teeter off balance and fall.
Illustration by Jim Siergey
Giants fans love their M&Ms.
Mays and McCovey:
Willie and Willie
Hit a combined 1,181 home runs.
Marichal and Mathewson:
Juan and Christy
Won a combined 616 games.
Madison and Matt:
Bumgarner and Cain
Led the team to three World Series.
But there is an M&M who never
Hit a homer,
Pitched an inning,
Or won a World Series game.
For 65 years Mike Murphy never
Had his name in a lineup,
Had his name on a baseball card,
Had his name balloted for the Hall of Fame.
But like San Francisco’s fog, Murph was always
In plain sight,
Serving first as a batboy,
And then as the Giants’ clubhouse manager.
Better than most, Murph understands that
Baseball’s Invisible Visibles
Make the game move over a season,
Mark the game’s evolution over decades.
Mike Murphy Makes History as S.F. Giants Hall of Fame Inductee
Fans remember well
Thompson’s ‘Shot Heard ‘Round the World’
Giants fans cheered
Dodgers fans hurled
But a new shot was heard
at Guaranteed Rate
causing Sox fans to scatter
after only Beer Number Eight
A smuggled gun went undected
In belly fat it was tucked
And when the lard pulled the trigger
even LaRussa woke up
One person was wounded
another was grazed
but the White Sox kept playing
losers still but unfazed
Then peace was restored
when cops ID’d the plump chick
and in court she was sentenced
to life on Ozempic.
Wade Meckler has had quite a week
of which he might not rather speak.
Two inside-the-parkers:
Luke Raley’s, Bryce Harper’s
Beat the outfielder at Hide-and-Seek.
Raley’s off-the-railing ricochet jobby six days ago
Harper’s elusive longball last night