Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Jonathan Holder, the Holder of Holds

by Hart Seely

Behold “Hold’em” Holder, the Holder of holds.
His heaters hate hitters, their bats catching colds.
His outings eat innings, as each hold unfolds,
Behold “Hold’em” Holder! the Holder of holds!

Just call “Hold’em” Holder; the lead will be held.
Our enemies vanquished, their loss clearly smelled,
This Holder will hold them, their hopes to be quelled,
Behold “Hold’em” Holder! Our vict’ry upheld!

Behold “Hold’em” Holder; he holds, does not save,
Each new hold unfolding, each game to its grave,
A high-holding holder, their bats shall behave!
Behold “Hold’em” Holder! Our lead shall not cave!

 



Tim Tebow Debut

by Stephen Jones

It’s Tebow Mania
In South Carolina:
The media frenzy,
Demand for his jersey . . .

Not since Michael Jordan
Has there been such stardom.

But after one Class A homer,
Is Tim Tebow the savior
Of all minor league players
Who dream big, of the majors?

It may sound so corny,
But his answer may be:

A big heart
Is a mighty big coach.

 



Colón’s Legacy

by Monica DeRee

Colón’s a fan favorite
At age 43
Returned to New York
Crowd screaming “Big Sexy!”

A Braves pitcher now
Bartolo took the mound
Struck out six
Only one run allowed

Big Sexy’s reign continues
We must watch in awe
His solo home run
Still the best we ever saw

 



Pummeling Piscotty

by James Finn Garner

Of all parts of the body
That Steve Piscotty
Tuesday got dinged,
Here’s the thing:

While an elbow or two
Might need some glue,
The brain isn’t quite
As crucial in right.

 



Goodbye Cruel World; It’s Opening Day

by Hart Seely

The gods place bets with loaded dice,
And all our earthly dreams betray,
But listen to one clown’s advice,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

The politicians scrounge for power,
With consequences we shall pay.
But somewhere, it’s our finest hour,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

Our weary age is full of war,
The daily news brings dark dismay,
So surf the dreams worth living for,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.