A Retrospective: The Wind-Up, and Watch
by Bruce Daniels
Baseball’s Hall of Fame hails a time-honored game,
That cannot be settled by clock.
Inning after inning, no team is winning,
I’d opt not to buy tickets or stock.
If one is so clever, a game can last forever,
A tie score all knotted at zip.
Ruth started the line-up, need new hitters to sign up,
Like Bonds who can make a round trip.
But we may never survive to see a line drive,
For me the game just drives me bonkers.
Be it Brooklyn or Yanks, if you ask me, “No thanks!”
The Bronx just bombed out, on to Yonkers!
This time-worn tradition should be sent to perdition,
The outcome has outlasted my strength.
Would there be sudden death? Please don’t hold your breath,
This game of ages is just so by its length!
Get Off His Lawn!!
by Michael X. Ferraro
Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,
Nabs a win at 49.
Never pitched to ol’ Babe Ruth
But babysat him one time.
Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.
Joba: The Poem
by Hart Seely
President Lincoln, skip that show!
Amelia Earhart, please don’t go!
Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp!
Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp.
JFK, don’t take that ride!
Dr. King, sir, stay inside!
Julius Caesar, ditch that crown!
Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down.
Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
America, free beer for all!
Mariano, please don’t go!
Joba . . . say it isn’t so.
Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch, is now in bookstores. He also runs the essential Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught.
Phil ‘n the Blanks
by James Finn Garner
The Northwest, known for its lumber,
Was at a loss to figure Phil Humber
Who deftly dialed the M’s number
In shadows, sun and penumber.
Could Starbucks have ended their slumber?
No matter, their bats were encumbered
In a masterpiece, shaded in umber,
The perfecto for new ace, Phil Humber
The Cuban Misspeak Crisis
By Michael X. Ferraro
“Cheering the Beard” is such a thorny notion
It nearly got Ozzie chucked in the ocean.
Instead he crash-landed in water so hot
‘T’would turn a refugee raft ‘to a teapot.
Down in Miami, fidelity to Fidel
Earns one the stature of Eddie Gaedel.
So Guillen, he of cojones inflated,
Went way overboard and got Castro-ated!*
(* But while landing Hernandezes at the beach
Let’s try not to trample all over free speech.)
Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.
