MLB All-Jingle-Bells Team

By Dr. Rajesh C. Oza and James Finn Garner

1B  Josh Bell
2B  Juan Bell
SS  Les Bell
3B  Buddy Bell

LF  George Bell
CF  Cool Papa Bell
RF  Beau Bell

C   Herman Bell, Terry Bell

LHP   Chad Bell, Eric Bell, Fred Bell, Lefty Bell, Ralph Bell
RHP   Bill “Ding Dong” Bell, Cliff Bell, Gary Bell, George Bell, Heath Bell, Hi Bell, Rob Bell, Trevor Bell

MGR   Jayce Tingley

 

Doppelgänger: Catch Me If You Con

by Rajesh C. Oza

Catchers are a con,
With the masks that they don.

They move outside pitches in,
Making the umpire’s head spin.

Like a leathery snapping turtle,
Their fat gloves makes pitches fertile.

Fingers flash sneaky signs,
Keeping balls out of Wrigley’s vines.

But what catchers really hide,
Is that they have another side:

Their future after catching daily trouble,
May emerge as a post-playing days’ double.

Eyes darting, they see the whole field,
Imagining that someday they will wield

A baton like Connie, Gabby, Girardi, and Bochy,
And, of course, that wise backstop/leader named Yogi,

Who said, “It ain’t over till it’s over,”
Maybe meaning careers evolve forever.

Perhaps suggesting that a catcher is
To a big-league manager,

As a caterpillar eying the blue sky is
To an imperial monarch butterfly.

“It ain’t over till it’s over” is the last sentence of “Double Play,” Dr. Oza’s novel which will be published in 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press. Dr. Oza is a management consultant and facilitates the interpersonal dynamics of MBAs at Stanford University.

 

If Game 5 Were Building a House

by James Finn Garner

Zac Gallen was a bureaucrat picking nits,
Denying every hitter a permit.

Eovaldi was a mason on the foundation
That threatened every minute to fall in.

After delays and frustrating slumber
Corey Seager finally brought the lumber.

Semien’s swing closed the door on the thing
And Sborz came on to nail the roof on.

Now old man Bochy can move in his boxes
And make fishing plans with Mike Maddux.

Capital Offense

by Michael X. Ferraro

I shan’t do business with Capital One
on account of how they’re so very dumb.
The softball squad skipper needs to resign
because he’s got Jeter riding the pine.