How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!

Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.

Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself.
And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time.
So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….

Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie:  My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!

So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight.
Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.

The ‘birds were turned back by Napoli
And their hitting missed the scenery
Ron’s dances and Punto’s charming wrongs
But wait a minute, something’s wrong…

Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
No, no, no; no World Series win for you, you Sicialiano

Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no, their last chance?
To get us to a big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re sad
We’re so, so sad

So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance Thurs night

Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no their last chance?
To get us to the big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re glad
We’re so, so glad

So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance thurs night

You can find more of David’s work throughout the Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…..caught.

Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.

Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.

No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.

Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.

Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.

For more on The Baseball Project, visit their website.

Who can make a team rise, make it feel like new
With flesh the hue of choc’late, he brings a miracle or two
The Grandy Man, oh the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

One of the greatest Yank “bros,” wears his stripes with pride
Hitting big home runs while his teammates “slide”
The Grandy Man, the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious

Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
Yes, The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood-a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man….

You’ll find David posting with the rest of Yankee stalwarts over at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….Caught.

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Those Chisox, those Chisox, they play like they’re clowns
Bet your bottom dollar even AJ could have won in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where poor Adam Dunn got shut down

On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Chicago, Chicago the Yanks will toss them around – we love it
Bet your bottom dollar Hughes will lose his blues in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where for six innings even he shut them down

On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town