Taking Higher Ground

by Michael X. Ferraro

Chris Davis’s 0-fer-8 night ended in bliss.
Five times did the DH swing-swing-swing and miss.
So, post-platinum sombrero, why the big grin?
‘Cause he tossed two scoreless and picked up the win.

………………………………………………………………………………..

The Ballad of Chris Davis

by Stu Shea

How does a player go 0-for-8
And still win himself the game ball?
Move from DH to the pitching mound
And make major-league hitters look small.

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM ETC.
Albert doesn’t want
Us to call him “The Man,” so
Let’s call him “The Bank.”

OAKLAND ATHLETICS
Manny is Manny.
Elderly is elderly.
Money is wasted.

SEATTLE MARINERS
The only thing worse
Than hitting Ichiro first
Is hitting him third

TEXAS RANGERS
Media outrage
Over Josh Hamilton’s life?
A pile of cow turds

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
With the mouth gone to
Sunnier climes, will the Sox
Be hung out to dry?

CLEVELAND INDIANS
“Is Grady injured?”
“Was there a Tuesday last week?”
Michael Brantley’s glad.

DETROIT TIGERS
27 games
Before Brandon Inge returns
To reclaim third base.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Those young hitters can’t
Overpower the smell of
Five pieces of meat.

MINNESOTA TWINS
Such a nice ballpark
And such nice people watching
Their nice, boring team.

With apologies to Basho

Crowd files into seats
.       infield dragged
.  Ump cries “Play ball!”
.     Frog plops into
.      centerfield pond

The ‘birds were turned back by Napoli
And their hitting missed the scenery
Ron’s dances and Punto’s charming wrongs
But wait a minute, something’s wrong…

Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
No, no, no; no World Series win for you, you Sicialiano

Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no, their last chance?
To get us to a big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re sad
We’re so, so sad

So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance Thurs night

Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no their last chance?
To get us to the big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re glad
We’re so, so glad

So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance thurs night

You can find more of David’s work throughout the Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…..caught.

All the network media dorks
Sing the praises of New York

They hate visiting places strange
Like Motown and the Texas Range

They’d rather crawl through Gotham sewers
Than watch the Snakes or Rays or Brewers.

They’re happy as a dog with bone
To stay in th’ Eastern Time Zone.

But Yankees pitching ain’t worth a lick.
The Phillies are my pick, in six.

Rain pours down
drenching everything.
The season has ten days left.

Why does the fall always try us?
Why must you need to be brave?

If I stay still I will not wake you.
If only the rain would stop,
my thoughts would not try to drown it out
and we could both sleep.

Dream of baseball. Can I?
The Giants and Cardinals are making a late run.
They’re fighting for their lives…
their playoff lives.

“Fighting for their lives.”
Where we’re living,
That sounds so stupid now,
so totally stupid.

Who can make a team rise, make it feel like new
With flesh the hue of choc’late, he brings a miracle or two
The Grandy Man, oh the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

One of the greatest Yank “bros,” wears his stripes with pride
Hitting big home runs while his teammates “slide”
The Grandy Man, the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious

Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood

The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
Yes, The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood-a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man….

You’ll find David posting with the rest of Yankee stalwarts over at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….Caught.