The Hall of Fame’s honor and riches
Ron Santo deserved without pitches.
.      But denied for too long
.      Was the man’s well-earned song
By an old bunch of sons of bitches.

.

by Cary Donham

Ron’s a hero to folks diabetic
‘Cause on the field he was super-kinetic
.      Whether diving for balls
.      Or arguing calls
Or clicking his heels so aesthetic

Late autumn brings damp and rain;
The baseball season is over again.
The Redbirds were soaring;
Their fans were roaring.
And Texas went home empty-handed.

The holidays and new year’s come,
Bringing dreams of series rings to everyone.
The hot stoves start burning,
With free agent yearning,
And revulse at the salaries commanded.

Spring brings tulips and green grass.
Training and opening day are here at last.
Northern fans bundle for the game,
Southern weather is a lot more tame.
And all hope to catch a foul single-handed.

The late Samuel Henry Donham (a college and semi-pro first baseman whose career ended in injury, and later a junior high baseball coach) instilled a love of baseball in his family, including his daughter-in-law Becky. She is a longtime Cubs fan whose faith is wavering.

At bat was the great Solomon Mitzvah
A clutch-hitting Jew from South Boston’s Yeshiva Finstah
He smashed the ball hard,
Straight out of the yard
But it bounced back and wounded his kishkah.

In the winter they swarm to Caracas
Where the fans, true to form, shake maracas
.      Down there all the players
.      Don’t wear many layers
As the sun keeps them warm in the tuchas.

Roy White, you did all right.
Jim Ray Hart, you played your part.
Willie Mays, those were the days!
Matty Alou, is it really true?

Duke Sims, you climbed on limbs.
Sparky Lyle, you made us smile.
Horace Clarke, you jumped the shark.
Matty Alou, we must bid adieu?

Harvey Kuenn, you made the scene.
Juan Marichal, you gave ‘em hell.
Steve Blass, let’s raise a glass!
Matty Alou, we’ll remember you.

Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames From Your Couch, will be published by Houghton Mifflin in time for Opening Day 2012.  You can pre-order it from Amazon at this link.

Sale: Storied Franchise
By McCourt in divorce court
Call: 1-800-Bailout

New York, London, Paris, Munich
Everybody talk about, mmm….
Pop music, aye, and news and sport
But to Bardball blast, we must retort

From the bleachers, and godly seats
Loving testimonies – and testy tweets
Au contraire, in Europe there is but little
Interest – like our economy, entirely brittle

In our excitement, we do refrain
From all small talk of one Ferris Fain
Unknown to us, across the Golden Pond
In our view, his sport just a frond

Of the nascent game we called rounders
Those damn Yankees – cads and bounders!

How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!

Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.

Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself.
And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time.
So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….

Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail

It’ll cost you just your job

Ernie: My job?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie:  My job?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!

So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight.
Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.

I’ll never see his like again,
My favourite hitter, Ferris Fain.

In London, Amsterdam and Paris,
They talk of nothing else but Ferris.

He always managed to amaze,
This handsome batsman of the A’s.

In 2002, George Bowering was appointed the first Parliamentary Poet Laureate of Canada.  His newest book, The Diamond Alphabet, is now available from BookThug.

This World Series sure done went screwy
with champs being wild card St. Looey
.     Midwest thinks it’s grand
.     but Cubs fans sneer and
collectively catcall, “Ah, Phooey!”