If I Told the Giants (What They Must Do…)

by the Village Elliott

Injuries are tearing the Jints apart
Doom best-laid plans their brain trust had conceived
Even attack Bruce Bochy’s broken heart
Stressed Brandon Crawford made him more bereaved

Posey beaned, Joe’s hand’s jammed, Bum’s bike doth fall,
Smith, Mac, Morse, Brown spend all spring on DL.
Both Parker, Span can’t hit ball, can hit wall,
Pence tweaks knee, now whole outfield shot to hell.

Maybe Jints are like Old Boney First, who said,
“I saw Elba ere I met my Waterloo.
Learned if I win battles, need not count dead.
Must if war’s lost, to pay butcher’s bill due.”

Jints laugh like Lincoln when told what to do:
“‘Anyone’ can’t replace an outfielder done.
‘Anyone’ might replace one done for you,
I must replace one who’s done with ‘someone.'”

I don’t know what Bobby Evans must do.
Not the GM, I don’t build big league squads,
Learned, “Must trust Jints’ brain trust has a clue
To appease and not offend Baseball Gods.”

 


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