MLB All-Black-Friday Team

by Michael X. Ferraro 1B   Marv Droneberry 2B   Etsy Caballero SS   Kevin OverStocker 3B   Frank “Home Shopping Network” Baker OF   John Vander Wal Mart OF   Randy Arozamazonarena OF   Nick Markdownkakis C   Pat Borders LHP   Chris Sale RHP   John “Discount of” Montefusco RP   Craig Leffertovers MGR   Clearance “Cito” Gaston ANNOUNCER   Buy Saam  

Capital Offense

by Michael X. Ferraro I shan’t do business with Capital One on account of how they’re so very dumb. The softball squad skipper needs to resign because he’s got Jeter riding the pine.

RETURN OF THE MACK In the first three installments of this satirical short tall tale (links here—Part I, Part II, Part III), the re-animated Philadelphia A’s owner-manager Connie Mack (b.1862- ???) has hitchhiked to Oakland and hired a lawyer to lay claim to his former team. Baseball Commissar Roi Mangled and neglectful A’s owner Joe …

Recap: In the first two installments of this short tall tale (links here — Part 1 and Part 2), the re-animated Philadelphia A’s owner-manager Connie Mack has traveled six feet up and 3,000 miles west to lay claim to his former team. Mr. Mack and his new lawyer (gimmicky billboard class-action guy Howard Gumption) have just …