by James Finn Garner
From an idea by Steve Fiffer
1B Sid Bream
2B Chico Salmon
SS Lee Elia
3B Melvin Mora
LF Ralph Garr
CF Mike Trout
RF Kevin Bass
C Carlton Fishk
LHP Steve Trout, Ryan Karp
RHP Dizzy Trout, Mudcat Grant
M Earl Weever
Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
All Body Parts team:
1B–Fred Brainard
2B—Chase Headley
SS—Chin-lung Hu
3B–Jim Ray Hart
LF—Walter “No-Neck” Williams
CF–Tony Armas
RF–Chester Emerson
C–Barry Foote
SP–Bill Hands
RP—Elroy Face, Rollie Fingers
MGR–Don Gutteridge
I guess we could also have Jack Glasscock on hand. (on, not in)
I forgot about Pete LaCock!
If you forget Pete LaCock, that’s a sure sign of aging.
Bob Gibson didn’t forget Pete LaCock:
Quipped Bob Gibson, retired in shock,
“Grand Slam told me to hang up my jock!”
Fiercest of’Game Face Looks”
Added ‘Must balance books;”
Why game Old-Timer drilled Pete LaCock.
Bob Gibson had already announced his retirement, effective the end of the 1975 season, when, on Sept 3rd, the Cards played the Cubs at Busch. After the Cards tied the game, 6-6, in the sixth, Gibby hanging on in middle-relief, entered in the 7th, and gave up five runs, including a two-out, pinch hit grand-slam by Pete LaCock. Gibby gets the next batter and leaves the game with a loss.
It is his last appearance in the majors. When the Cards go on the road the next day, Gibby stays behind. A few days later he announced his official retirement.
It was the highlight of LaCock’s career, claiming he hit Gibby’s last pitch. While not literally true, it is figuratively, as Gibby retorted,”That’s how I knew it was time to retire.”
But it’s best not to taunt Gibson, even in retirement. Ten yeas later during an Old-Timers game in which both appeared, when LaCock pinch hit, Gibby strode to the mound, pre-empted Bob Feller. and promptly drilled LaCock. Asked about it later in an interview with Bob Costas, Gibby, in his best game face, intoned, “The books must be balanced, Bob.”
Two more fish pitchers: Catfish Hunter, Harvey Haddox
And an Umpire: Bill “Catfish” Klem