Pale Hose Fulfill Pre-Season Predictions

by James Finn Garner

So now’s the time all knew would come
The Sox will spend the autumn home

No pennant raised above the park
Attendance far below the mark

Even in a shit division
The batters need to hit a smidgen

Pitchers likewise should abstain
From tossing taters to start each game

Chicago now sports a perfect twosome
Cubs abysmal, White Sox gruesome


Published in Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, James Finn Garner, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | 5 Comments

Pale Hose Fulfill Pre-Season Predictions: 5 Comments

  1. Hilary Barta wrote,

    Ouch! Very funny, but painful. Yeah, it was an embarrassing two weeks, but the Sox surprised a lot of know-it-alls this season. And what does it say about the supposedly superior Tigers that it took them so long to finally get to the top?

  2. James Finn Garner wrote,

    If all it took to win was buying talents, the Yankees would be perennial winners and the Rays, A’s, and O’s would be shut out. We’re talking about intangibles and playing like a team. It was fun to watch the White Sox this summer, but they were too streaky to count on them going very far into the fall. Next year should be fun, though, if their rookie pitchers continue to develop.

  3. Hilary Barta wrote,

    One thing that is tangible is this brilliant couplet:

    Even in a shit division
    The batters need to hit a smidgen

  4. Siergey wrote,

    Good to the last drop-off.

  5. James Finn Garner wrote,

    Hil, I now work harder for internal rhymes because of you.

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