Philly Ball Park Guard and Taser

By Hart Seely

Hot beneath the raging sun,
Running in his cheap suit blazer,
Trigger-happy with his gun,
Philly ballpark guard – with taser.

Rumbling like a rented van,
Aiming carefully his laser,
Firing on some hapless fan,
Philly ballpark guard – with taser.

Creepo at the junior prom,
Sicko wielding rusted razor,
Castro with a nuclear bomb,
Philly ballpark guard – with taser.


Posted 5/11/10

Published in Ballparks, Fans, Philadelphia Phillies, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | 4 Comments

Philly Ball Park Guard and Taser: 4 Comments

  1. Stephen Jones wrote,

    Albeit the action seems extreme – whadda’bout the act itself that started the whole mess?

    “Hi Dad – I’m doing this”; Dad’s answer fairly passive. We’ve seen/heard much worse with soccer, e.g.

    A person ran where he didn’t BELONG

  2. James Finn Garner wrote,

    Tasering still seems extreme to me. He was doing something stupid, not hurting anyone or committing a felony. Someday someone will use a taser and cause a fatality, and until then, every cop and rentacop will believe what the manufacturers tell them about tasers being nonlethal.

  3. Stephen Jones wrote,

    I agree re your perception/observation, Jim. Hard to call – either way. On the one hand you have the potential threat – the idiot person running around, but on the other hand there’s demonstrably the over-use of “force” itself. Whatever . . . I would wish someone/maybe someplace the closure on this could be a rational finale.

  4. Stu wrote,

    I think that people who run onto the field are idiots who should be thrown in jail. But I think Hart’s poem is right on track. We have to expect more out of authority than wanton abuse of power.

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