The Agony of the Agate

by Michael X. Ferraro

Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.

Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!

Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)

Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.

Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.

Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.

One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?

Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.


Published in Arizona Diamondbacks, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Chicago Cubs, Detroit Tigers, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Dodgers, Management, Milwaukee Brewers, New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, Players, Pure doggerel, San Diego Padres, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, The Game Itself, Washington Nationals | Link to this poem | 1 Comment

The Agony of the Agate: 1 Comment

  1. stu wrote,

    This is EXCELLENT!

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