The Ballad of Susan Finkelstein

by James Finn Garner


The girl had “Phillie Fever”,
A massive fall attack.
The only cure required her
To lay down on her back.

To nab a pair of tickets,
What must a clever girl do?
A “Dirty Utley”?  “Around the Lidge”?
A “Hamels Camel” or two?

But the cops horned in, and now her pic’s
Been spread across the nation.
Next time, p’raps, she first should try
Some Manuel stimulation.


Posted 10/29/2009

Published in Fans, Philadelphia Phillies, Pure doggerel, Scandals | Link to this poem | No Comments

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