The Ballad of Tighty-Whitey Ford

by Michael X. Ferraro

Stealing a base involves taking a chance.
Even more so when you’re not wearing pants.

Tampa’s half-streaker probably reckoned,
“Low wind resistance’ll help me nab second.”

But security met him at the bag,
throwing him out with an intimate tag.

Michael X. Ferraro is the author of Tased & Amused: A Poetic Recap of the 2010 MLB Season, which recounts such harrowing fan tales as an on-field tasering and a case of intentional regurgitation.

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