The Canning of Mr. Met

by James Finn Garner

With apologies (not really needed) to Robert W. Service

There are strange things done in a season’s run
.   By the characters ’round Citi Field
The yardbird gramps will loiter on ramps
.   And tell you to keep your eyes peeled.
The borough of Queens has staged horrible scenes
.   But the horriblest of them yet
Was a dark night in May, with the team put away,
.   We got flipped off by Mr. Met.

Now Mr. Met, let no one forget,
.   Has been around since the Amazin’s began.
The face of the team had a smile that beamed
.   Brighter than any real Gotham man.
So when miserable play, day after day,
.   Leaves the line twixt patience and torture blurred
It should be no surprise that even this guy
.   Is reduced to giving the bird.

The Brewers had bombed ol’ Jacob deGrom
.   And, heckled by some random slob,
Mr. Met let loose with a low-flying goose
.   And now is out of a job.
When you see him there, in the crowd in Times Square,
.   Taking snaps for tips with Iowa teens
With Elmo and Kermit, slow down and permit
.   Him to reflect on what might have been.

 


Published in Ballparks, Fans, James Finn Garner, Milwaukee Brewers, New York Mets, Pure doggerel, Scandals, Songs and Parodies | Link to this poem | 2 Comments

The Canning of Mr. Met: 2 Comments

  1. Stephen wrote,

    Let it be known: the guy who played Mr. Met ONLY lost his dress-up routine: he’s still gainfully employed in the Mets’ organization (his other duties unknown).

  2. Michael Ferraro wrote,

    If only Jimmy Breslin were still around to have seen it! Or Casey Stengel! Well done, JFG!

Leave Your Comment

Comment Form

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.