The Captain’s Yard Sale

by James Finn Garner

A dining set of broken bats
A navy pinstripe yoga mat

A year’s supply of Genny Cream
A keg signed by the vending team

A “2” carved out of northern granite
A solar-cell vibrating hammock

A zircon-slathered Yankee topper
A 2,000-gallon popcorn popper

Another ugly pair of boots
A vid lip-synching with the Roots

“2s” in crystal, onyx, steel,
Beer cans, tree trunks and fresh veal

A wondrous Joe-Girardi-shaped ‘tater
A Japanese robot fellater

It’s not a hoarder’s dream or last mirage —
Just what’s stuffed in Jeet’s garage.


Published in Fans, Food, History, James Finn Garner, New York Yankees, Players, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | No Comments

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