The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman)

by James Finn Garner

Chapman might have nerves of steel,
But munchies? His Achilles heel.
Before the Phils two homers laced, he
Ate 18 guava-cream-cheese pastries.

Now, Bambino gobbled beer and dogs,
Yardbird the only dish for Boggs,
But to abate your pulse like lava,
Try pastries filled with cheese and guava.

Closers are a breed apart
A fiery mix of arm and heart.
If vict’ry’s what you long to taste, be
Wary of inhaling pastries.

 


Published in Cincinnati Reds, Food, Philadelphia Phillies, Pure doggerel, Scandals | Link to this poem | 3 Comments

The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman): 3 Comments

  1. Hilary Barta wrote,

    Ha!

  2. James Finn Garner wrote,

    errr…I don’t feel so good…..

  3. Michael X. Ferraro wrote,

    is that rosin on your fingers, or powdered sugar?

Leave Your Comment

Comment Form

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.