The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman)

by James Finn Garner

Chapman might have nerves of steel,
But munchies? His Achilles heel.
Before the Phils two homers laced, he
Ate 18 guava-cream-cheese pastries.

Now, Bambino gobbled beer and dogs,
Yardbird the only dish for Boggs,
But to abate your pulse like lava,
Try pastries filled with cheese and guava.

Closers are a breed apart
A fiery mix of arm and heart.
If vict’ry’s what you long to taste, be
Wary of inhaling pastries.


Published in Cincinnati Reds, Food, Philadelphia Phillies, Pure doggerel, Scandals | Link to this poem | 3 Comments

The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman): 3 Comments

  1. Hilary Barta wrote,


  2. James Finn Garner wrote,

    errr…I don’t feel so good…..

  3. Michael X. Ferraro wrote,

    is that rosin on your fingers, or powdered sugar?

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