The Cruelest Month

by the Village Elliott

Like the Giants, I’ve been in a funk,
Like World Champions, my stat line has stunk.
Is this start of the schnide (1)
of bunk odd-year-long ride? (2)
If it is, then this season is sunk.

“April’s the cruelest month,” poets say.
For the Giants, so far, been that way;
Lately, I’ve dealt with clown,
Wouldn’t let my dauber down,
Had last laugh on his busted squeeze play.

Choir sings that “You’ve gotta have heart,
To be champion, must play the part.
Season’s end, Who’d a-thunk
Team would overcome funk,
Have last laugh after ‘on the schnide’ start?”

PS: At home after first day off Champs get,
First-place Bums swept in tense three-game set;
Jints cut three games off lead,
As the Dodger Blue bleed.
Mattingly learns the Jints ain’t dead yet.

(1) “The Schnide”: what Jews call a losing streak;
“On the schnide,” like the Giants last week,
Means, “Long losing streak on,”
“Off the schnide,” once they’ve won,
Comes from Yiddish, not Latin or Greek.

(2) Around here, hear this “Odd-Even” jive:
Giants’ dynasty: Three of last five.
Crowns in ‘Ten, ‘Twelve, ‘Fourteen,
Odd years “bunk: Shitty Scene”,
No playoffs, but in even years thrive.

schnide: A scoreless, hitless or winless streak. A team or player gets off the schnide when the streak is broken. (Urban Dictionary).

bunk: Shitty, Bogus, counterfeit, nonsense, meaning wack or extremely strange, originating on a low-rent island in Maine. For something to be bunk it must make you want to cry laugh hysterically or, more commonly, run for you life. (Urban Dictionary).


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