The Ryan Shames

by James Finn Garner

We know he’s a massive tool, Ryan.
At the same time, don’t be trying
To plunk A-Rod in the buttocks
To serve some greater sense of Justice.
He’s still the league’s sacrificial goat
And will surely miss the Hall of Fame vote,
A pitiable man whom no one will pity,
The most loathed non-pol in New York City.
We get it, you’re mad, but don’t be a punk.
You won’t become Batman in one single plunk.
And if it takes you five pitches to nail that poor schlub,
You’re just showing the world you’re still a Cub.


Published in Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, James Finn Garner, New York Yankees, Players, Pure doggerel, Scandals | Link to this poem | 2 Comments

The Ryan Shames: 2 Comments

  1. Fesal wrote,

    Happy Birthday Finn from Sydney Australia! I recall when you were here, you were a llitte over having your photo taken by your sister, ha ha, ..but that is one beautiful photo of you!!! Hope you all have a fabulous birthday celebration. xxx

  2. auto insurance wrote,

    It’s a pleasure to find such rationality in an answer. Welcome to the debate.

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