Tommy John on the Mound

by Stephen Jones

If it were on New Year’s Day,
It’d be a parade of Shriners;
Instead, it’s big league play
And a procession of pitchers.

This is what I heard on TV
About the numbers “1” and “3”:

Fully 1/3 – huge any season –
Of pitchers may need an operation.
That’s what actuaries did reason
After watching, so far, this season.

Mind you, future-projection
Is wide open for speculation.
But in truth, elbow wear-and-tear
For pitchers has gone up this year.

That’s just what I heard on TV
About the numbers “1” and “3”.

Baseball is a game of calculation
And stats rule in the MLB.
Now, so does insurance, inflammation
And season-ending surgery.

“1/3” – it is part of an equation
Of which I would rather not see.

 


Published in Players, Pure doggerel, Scandals, The Game Itself | Link to this poem | 1 Comment

Tommy John on the Mound: 1 Comment

  1. Carl wrote,

    That was nicely stated. Well done, my friend.

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