Archive for June, 2007
Dialogue: Jacque Jones and a Cubs Fan
by Stu Shea
“Today I make a promise from my soul
That I will try my best in my new role.
I will not swing at sliders aimed at my back foot,
Nor run the bases like I’m wearing gumboots.
Or make a six-hop throw toward the plate
That never gets the runner ’cause it’s late.
I hope that I can keep this oath.”
“You and me both.”
Posted 6/21/07
White Sox in the Wash
By Stu Shea
Sure, they won the World Series just two years ago,
But that’s history, bro.
Get hip!
Chicago is slumping
The media’s dumping
And everyone’s jumping the ship.
The season’s turned into the crumbs of corn chips.
No one’s even surprised
At Guillen’s rude slips of the lip
For his team’s gotten older
And the value of aging, .230-ish sluggers is – zip.
Shouldn’t someone ring Kenny Williams’ bell?
Inform him, pray tell,
That after two years,
Even good socks can smell?
Song of a Slump
by Jeffrey Felshman
Can’t hit, can’t pitch, can’t win,
Like ’62 all over again.
Their bats stilled
By the strong-armed Phils?
The bullpen pounded
By the mighty Dodgers.
Swept away in LA
We can still play, they say
We’ll win again someday.
We’ll get cranked
Against the Yanks,
So the boys keep swinging,
But the league keeps singing:
Meet the Mets,
Greet the Mets,
Step right up and beat the Mets,
Give us this day our daily slaughter –
Send in the Mets!
Posted 6/18/07
3 Haiku
by Jeff Fleming
I wish the Cubs had
Ichiro Starting in Right
Instead of Jacques Jones.
The Wooden Elbow
Continues to be creaky–
For godsakes, just pitch!
Documentary
About Barry Bonds’ Seventy-Third:
LitigationBall.
Posted 6/15/07
Barry Bonds #12
by Lou Carlozo
Despite Barry Bonds’ many homers,
It appears that his body’s a loaner,
For his steroid technique
Birthed an android’s physique:
An aluminum bat for a boner.
