by James Finn Garner
Of all the things that vex the Cubs –
That same sad old refrain –
From day games to Bartman to the billy goat
We can add to that roster “rain”.
Rolling out the tarp may look simple
Hardly “mechanical”, ’tis true
Yet what can go wrong surely will go wrong
For those who bleed Cubby blue
The Giants have something to play for
And were lucky to get the game suspended.
The Cubs are still playing “Chicago’s Got Talent!”
But watching them can’t be recommended.
by Bob Nemtusak
“Come on, Hobbs! You’re up!!”
Pick up a bat, and do it!
The Cubs fans blamed Steve Bartman.
Who’s to say?
Seems like they blew it.
Pierzynski punched Cubs catcher–
Now A.J.’s Saint Louis red;
Oakland has some Athletics,
Coco puts pitchers to bed.
Another earthquake series?
White Sox got Cy Young, and Rookie.
Shave those beards–
You lot not Wookiees
by Hugh Manatee
Is feeling hinky
And regrets his wish
For bottomless Minnesota hot dish.
Ended the suspense:
He scares both adults and kids
Cuz he was tragically born without eyelids.
Will take his chances,
Gird up his junk-a
And take a dive into Lake Minnetonka.
Is a 14-time All-Star repeater
And, if we trust the announcers,
Also invented sliced bread, the Internet and trousers.
Has got nothing to lose.
Though Selig may wince,
He’s gonna show up at the game dressed as Prince
By Stuart Shea
It’s once again chic
To follow the Freak.
While San Diego hitters
Would probably rather be someplace like Mozambique.