National League West 2010 Haiku Forecasts
By Stuart Shea
DIAMONDBACKS
Some cacti have more range
Than Conor Jackson in left.
But he can hit some.
.
DODGERS
Poor Jamie McCourt.
All that cash for the players
Where’s her unfair share?
.
GIANTS
A skinny pitcher,
Throwing nothing but BBs
This is his springtime.
.
PADRES
Trade Adrian G?
Better to cut crocuses
Before they blossom.
.
ROCKIES
A sore-armed closer
A thin middle relief corps…
A Street of bad dreams.
Posted 3/30/2010
Kung Fu Panda’s Stretch Run
By Stuart Shea
If Pablo Sandoval
Has a fault at all
It’s simply that his uniform can’t fit.
Nobody looks like him
And it will be quite grim
If sometime soon his uniform pants split.
.
Posted 9/15/2009
Baseball Cards
by Dan Quisenberry (KC Royals, 1979-1988)
.
that first baseball card I saw myself
in a triage of rookies
atop the bodies
that made the hill
we played king of
I am the older one
the one on the right
game-face sincere
long red hair unkempt
a symbol of the ’70s
somehow a sign of manhood
you don’t see
how my knees shook on my debut
or my desperation to make it
the second one I look boyish with a gap-toothed smile
the smile of a guy who has it his way
expects it
I rode the wave’s crest
of pennant and trophies
I sat relaxed with one thought
“I can do this”
you don’t see
me stay up till two
reining in nerves
or post-game hands that shook involuntarily
glory years catch action shots
arm whips and body contortions
a human catapult
the backs of those cards
cite numbers
that tell stories of saves, wins, flags, records
handshakes, butt slaps, celebration mobs
you can’t see
the cost of winning
lines on my forehead under the hat
trench line between my eyes
you don’t see my wife, daughter and son
left behind
the last few cards
I do not smile
I grim-face the camera
tight lipped
no more forced poses to win fans
eyes squint
scanning distance
crow’s-feet turn into eagle’s claws
you don’t see
the quiver in my heart
knowledge that it is over
just playing out the end
I look back
at who I thought I was
or used to be
now, trying to be funny
I tell folks
I used to be famous
I used to be good
they say
we thought you were bigger
I say
I was
.
Published 9/2/2009
Name Recognition
by Rube Goldberg
But here the son broke in and said,
“These guys are new to me.
I never heard of Taft or Hughes
Or Bryan, honestly.
I never saw those queer old names
When looking through the score,
I’d understand you better, Pa,
If you mentioned John McGraw.”
Taken from Crazy ’08 by Cait Murphy.
Published 7/27/09
National League West 2009 Haiku Forecasts
By Stuart Shea
DODGERS
What causes shadows
Gath’ring over Dodgertown?
Oh. It’s Manny’s hair.
DIAMONDBACKS
Risky tightrope walk—
Using Felipe Lopez
As a regular.
GIANTS
If it rained all year
S.F. would avoid losing
100 ballgames.
PADRES
No big stars, no hope
Dark days ahead for the fans
Despite bright Cali skies.
ROCKIES
Jeff Francis’ arm
Wilted like Boston lettuce
Left out far too long.
Posted 3/25/09
