Browse all poems and songs in the 'Cincinnati Reds' Category


Devin-May-Care

By Stu Shea

Plays for the Reds
And not Morocco
Does Devin Mesoraco.

Has he driven a Hummer
Or just a Scirocco?
Ask Devin Mesoraco.

With a bat in his hands
Imitates Johnny Socko
Does Devin Mesoraco.



The Not-So-Sweet Spot (“When Lumber Attacks”, Part 2)

by Michael X. Ferraro

Johnny Cueto’s AB was not bueno
Failed to bunt, so he went all volcano.
Slammed his bat on his leg
to crack like an egg
But it DIDN’T — so now he’s in pain-o.

 

Johnny Cueto Needs to Practice Breaking Bats Over His Knee

 Michael X. Ferraro’s baseball poetry and topical jokes can be found on Twitter @ferrarovision

 



National League Central 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

BREWERS
Forecast for ’14?
Lots of Braun but little brain.
Enjoy fourth place, guys.

CARDINALS
Yadier Molina—
Buster Posey before the
new Buster Posey.

CUBS
Huh. “Wait til next year”
From a franchise managed by
Weekly profit/loss.

PIRATES
There’s one more Hurdle:
Convert iron not to steel
But to a trophy.

REDS
Time for a Price change—
It was getting Dusty there.
Maybe they’ll win now.

 



There is No Joy in Bro-hio

by James Finn Garner

There is no joy in Bro-hio
As Tribe and Reds are shown the door.
Both teams vying for the Wild Card
But reality hit ‘em good and hard.
The Rays, always, a resourceful crew,
And Pittsburgh, you must admit, is due.

An I-71 Series is just a dream
If Dusty Baker helms your team.
With Nick Swisher on the roster,
October glory is hard to foster.
Next March it all begins anew
When balls start smacking into Chin-Soo Choo.

 



Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.

NL West
Arizona
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching

Los Angeles
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting

Colorado
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not

San Francisco
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years

San Diego
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth

NL East
Atlanta
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year

Washington
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more

Philadelphia
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry

New York
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star

Miami
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?

NL Central
St. Louis
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan

Pittsburgh
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!

Cincinnati
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year

Chicago
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?

Milwaukee
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever

 

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.