NL Central 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku

by Stuart Shea

Chicago Cubs
Inside the outfield,
Autumn dream: A Belli dance.
Will it or won’t it?

Cincinnati Reds
Too many men to
Plow the field and not enough
Men to throw the dirt.

Milwaukee Brewers
Blue and golden hop(e)s,
I thought it was still summer—
Then the brew went flat.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Fording three rivers,
Seedy types in fancy suits
Trawl for cheap assets.

St. Louis Cardinals
Spring rain’s mire will tell
Whether the wheels are still good
Or are falling off.

Au Revoir, Dusty

Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.

 

Brewers vs. Reds, July 24-26

by the Brewer Haiku-er (@brewer_haikuer)

Game 101. Brewers 3, Reds 2

Another tight game
Yeli comes through with walk-off
Seals the game winner

Game 102. Reds 4, Brewers 3

One more crazy game
Yeli with 3-run homer
But not quite enough.

Game 103. Brewers 3, Reds 0

Freddy’s 13 K’s
And Taylor’s 2 run bomb mean
Crew get series win

 

Baseball Burglary Blotter

By Rajesh C. Oza

A Cinci hit
and three thefts
in Milwaukee’s broad daylight.

Elly struck a single off Elvis;
the manager didn’t call the paramedics.

De stole second;
the Brewers’ stadium security stood still.

La stole third;
the rattled fireman turned his back to the plate.

Cruz stole home;
the fans cried, “Crime wave!”

Elly De La Cruz:
the Reds’ thrilling base stealer
achieves Mission: Impossible.

Dr. Oza is a management consultant and facilitates the interpersonal dynamics of MBAs at Stanford University. His novel, Double Play, will be published in 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.