Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category


Baseball Off the Field

by Stephen Jones

Sometimes the game’s best catch
Is the one that’s in the stands–

Not the web gem “Wow!” we see
Highlighted on sports TV.

It’s maybe a juggle of beer and . . . snatch,
Making the grab bare hand.

 



Dopes Spring Eternal

by Hilary Barta

Oh, the friendly confinement is great
Hot dog vendors, the vines — both first rate
But the sport has a history,
And support is a mystery
When the end of the line is, “Just wait.”

 



Time-Saving Seventh-Inning Anthem

by Ron Kaplan

Buy me some peanuts.
I don’t care.
Let us root root for the laundry;
If they don’t win, meh.
For it’s two strikes, you’re out.
The end.

(Time of game: 2:10)

 

Ron Kaplan operates the very literate website Ron Kaplan’s Baseball Bookshelf and is the author of 501 Baseball Books Fans Must Read Before They Die.



Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: Intro

by Stuart Shea

It was 17 years ago today
The home run chase seemed to save the day
But the numbers weren’t what they seemed
Neither Sosa nor McGwire were clean

Here’s regime change for you (if anybody really cares)
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew!

(skin flute solos)

We’re Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Now come and pee into this cup
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Our game is on the up-and-up

Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew

It’s wonderful to be clean
It gives us such a thrill
To know we’ve purged the game of drugs
Except, of course, for adderall
And liquor pays our bills!

I don’t really want to stop the game
But I’d like to make a little claim
What will happen, can you deduce,
When they legalize a “drug of abuse”?

Have you thought about what that will mean
When 300 million folks ain’t “clean”
Like Sgt. Manfred’s smiling Drug-Test crew?

 

 



Hope Springs a Leak Eternal

by Hilary Barta

Never weep for my Wrigley Field wishes
Though they sleep with the Stygian fishes
They were laid six feet deep
But, decayed, up they creep
And they’ll keep, just like frigging street knishes.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.