Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category


Hot Doggerel

by Hilary Barta

Take me out to the ballgame
(at Mega Predatory Capitalism Corp Park)
Take me out to the crowd
(taking selfies, texting their “friends” and checking email)
Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack
(How much? They’re PEANUTS!)
I don’t care if I never get back
(Actually, I do have to work in the morning)
For it’s root, root, root for the home team
(full of spoiled, right-wing millionaires)
If they don’t win, it’s a shame
(There’s always next year)
So it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game!
(now new and “improved” with replay challenges)

 



Brewers’ Dog Days

by the Brewer Haiku-er (@brew_haiku)

Tuesday, August 16
Cubs 4/4, Brewers 0/1
A sweep at Wrigley
We lose both games and players
Braun, Anderson hurt

Wednesday, August 17
Cubs 6, Brewers 1
Third straight loss to Cubs
Enough to make Crew fans drink
A case of Old Style

Thursday, August 18
Cubs 9, Brewers 6
Crew put up some runs
But cannot contain Bryant
Cubs are dominant

 

Follow the Brewer Haiku-er on Twitter for updates every day (@brew_haiku).



Attention Must Be Paid

by James Finn Garner

Somewhere among the
Kiss Cam, and the
Mascot Race, and the
Find The Bagel Under the Helmet video, and the
Helmet Nachos, and the
Pork-Chop-on-a-Stick, and the
Mandatory seventh inning patriotic song, and the
Salute to the division winners of 15 years ago,

I saw a defensive shift

And I thought,
Wow! How do they know to do that?!?

 



Crunch Time

by Hilary Barta

When cramping and losing your grip,
Don’t panic! Get fluids and sip
And so systems won’t flood,
Enlist the old spud,
That champ of snack foodstuffs, the chip.

 

Dealing with cramping in his right hand, Cubs pitcher Jason Hammel was told by his doctor to eat more potato chips for their potassium.

 



Fall of the House of All-Star Clerihews

Julio Teheran
Loves Duran Duran
But will take a paz
On Yaz.

Yoenis Cespedes
Likes watching “The Apprentice”.
“What I can’t figure out, man,
Is where they found a talking orangutan.”

Marcell Ozuna
Is the big kahuna
In Miami’s centerfield
By Red Groom’s carnival sculpture he’s almost concealed.

Dellin Betances
Took his chances
With a street vendor’s tamales
And is now very solly.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.