Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category


Miller and Tex

by Hart Seely

With apologies to Robert Frost

Some say the team will end with Miller,
Some say with Tex.
From what I’ve seen of bullpen filler,
I’d much prefer a quicker killer.
But if we’re bound to perish next,
I think I know enough of fate
To say that for destruction, Tex
Is not as great
As oral sex.

 



An Ode for Dave Dombrowski

by James Finn Garner

For all the effort
Restoring glory
The October result’s
The entire story

A franchise reborn
Butts in the seats
Traffic downtown
Pennant repeats

Strong arms and bats–
Some for the ages!–
Might end up mere stats
On old dusty pages

Without a ring
You’re as good as dead
When the Pizza King
Shouts, “Off with his head!”

 



MLB All-Grain-Tuber-and-Legume Team

by James Finn Garner

1B  Bill Bean
2B  Potato Cueto
SS  Oats DeMaestri
3B  Peanuts Lowrey
LF  Zach Wheat
CF  Billy Beane
RF  Sam Rice
C .   Yam Yaryan
LHP  Beany Jacobson, Peanuts Kantlehner
RHP  Lee Wheat, Colter Bean, Goober Zuber
MGR  Johnny Oates

 

 



MLB All-Sweettooth Team

by James Finn Garner

1B  Sean Berry
2B  Cookie Rojas
SS  Cookie Lavagetto
3B  Pie Traynor
LF  Candy Maldonado
CF  Coco Crisp
RF  Taffy Wright
C   Rick Sweet
LHP  Brownie Foreman, Ed Wineapple
RHP  Twink Twining, Bob Lemon
MGR  Yogi Berry

 



MLB All-Libations Team

By James Finn Garner

1B  Juice Latham
2B  George Creamer
SS  Jack Coffey
3B  Bobby Wine
LF  Gene Rye
CF  Brandy Davis
RF  Suds Sutherland
C   Punch Knoll
LHP  Vinegar Bend Mizell
RHP  Mark Lemongello, Clarence Beers
Closer Oil Can Boyd
MGR  Norm Sherry

 

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