Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category

Just a Heads-Up

by James Finn Garner

When Kershaw pitches, why show up?
There’s better things to do — wise up!
Hang decorations from your stirrups
Take up pottery and throw a cup
Go to Tindr for quick hookups
Inventory your Dixie cups
Visit a shelter and adopt a pup
Invent a new, no-glute ketchup
Lip-synch “Build Me Up Buttercup”

But don’t take your at-bat. Just give up.


When He’s On, Your Chances Are Nonexistent

by Michael X. Ferraro

Wanna clobber Corey Kluber?
The very notion is absurd.
His yakker’s as hard to sit on
as the eggs of a dodo bird


Hey Clevelanders! Michael X. Ferraro wrote a satirical novel called Circus Catch that examines the plight of being a football fan in your otherwise sport-tastic town! Look for it now!

Floundering Fish of Florida Fire Home Run Leader

by Stephen Jones

In Runs Per Game, the Marlins stank
Like a dead fish out of water.
Their slugging percentage was also rank,
So they fired Barry Bonds — as they oughtta.


Topographical Cap

by Michael X. Ferraro

The cap of Richard Porcello
Casts a dim light on the fellow.
It’s encrusted with gunk
And emits such a funk
Pine tar transforms into Jell-O.


Boston Sweeps Yanks

by Stephen Jones

Yankee fans always like to boast;
Instead, they got Pinstripe toast.

Time to give up chance’s ghost?
After Boston, it’s an almost.


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Copyright 2007 Bardball.