Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category


Rendon, Rodon and Rondon

by James Finn Garner

Rendon, Rodon and Rondon
Were drinking beers one day
Their waitress Babs then served the tab
But couldn’t get it paid

For Rendon tore his tendon
When reaching for his dough
And the harlots down in Charlotte
Had left Rodon with diddly-oh

Rondon’s wing was in a sling
His back pocket much too far
So poor old Babs had to eat the tab
And banned them from her bar

 



Bleacher Bump

by Hilary Barta

While it’s coming, the day’s drawing near
Where’s a Bum ‘sposed to station his rear?
Though the bleachers ain’t done,
Cheers to each sodden one:
Don’t be glum! There’s no rationing beer!

 



American League Central 2015 Spring Training Haiku

By Stuart Shea

White Sox
Eaton, a Danish,
And fans hungry for more than
Just a few churros

Indians
Can we just bury
That nickname somewhere out by
Bad Knee ligament?

Tigers
‘15 may see a
Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright—
If Verlander’s back

Royals
Sudden royalty
Must beware of slipping back
Toward the commoners

Twins
Hometown hero Paul
Will learn that spring is full of hope
And buds that don’t bloom

 



American League East 2015 Spring Training Haiku

By Stuart Shea

Orioles
Hitless in 20…
Not a great way to come back
Is it, Matt Wieters?

Red Sox
New acquisition
For Boston’s Zoo—a panda.
He won’t go hungry.

Yankees
First spring in many
With a wide-open spot where
A legend once trod.

Rays
All the big names gone
And one eye is looking north
Thinking of Quebec.

Blue Jays
It’s hard to know, man…
Can they win without Stroman?
Does Haiku need rhyme?

 



The National Pastime

by Tony Puma

“Take me out to the ball game”

Please stand for the National Anthem.

The Home Team takes the field: PLAY BALL!

Bottom of third, man on base,
pitch low and inside, count 3 & 2.
Fastball, strike 3, Batter out.
Man left on base.

The Mick, Duke, Willie, Jackie, Pee Wee,
The Scooter, Yogi, Joe D., Dizzy and Daffy,
Charlie Hustle.

Who’s on first. Abbott & Costello.

Red Sox and White Sox.

“take me out with the crowd”

Twi-light double header:
Cardinals and Orioles.

Da’ Reds/Dem Bums/ The Gas House Gang
Murderers Row/ The Bronx Bombers.

Reliever: South Paw ,Knuckleballer, 2.52 ERA.

The Sultan of Swat/The Splendid Splinter.

The Iron Man.
Lou Gehrig’s disease.

“buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack”

Bottom of 7th, nothing-nothing.
Seventh inning stretch.

Padres and Angels.

A No-Hitter/A Perfect Game.
Holy Cow!

The Bleachers.
Ebbets/Wrigley/Fenway.

“I don’t care if I never get back”

Designated Hitter/Pinch Hitter.
Foul ball/Double play.
Catcher gives the sign.
Tying run at the Plate.

The Yankees win the World Series!
Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants:
NOT.

The Metropolitans.
The Nationals.

Topps Baseball cards.

Indians and Braves.

Can’t anyone here play this game?
Casey Stengel.

“let me root, root, root for the home team”

Rain delay/Box scores/Extra innings/K’s/RBI’s.

Negro League:
Only the ball was white.

Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio . . .
Paul Simon.

Devil Rays and Marlins.

Frozen Rope/Texas Leaguer.
Bull Pen/Home Plate/Batter’s Box.
Cooperstown.
Old-Timers Day/All Star Game.

I GOT IT!

“if they don’t win, it’s a shame”

Tagged out/Stolen base.
A swing and a miss.
Pitcher’s mound/Rosin bag/The Rubber.

Red Bird/Phillie Phanatic.

Cubs and Tigers.

A Sinker, down-and-out.
Bunt/Sacrifice/Pitch-out
Popped-up/Loaded bases.

“for it’s one, two , three strikes you’re out

I watch a group of kids playing
baseball in a cow pasture.

“at the old Ball Game.”

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.