Browse all poems and songs in the 'Food' Category

Scapegoated Roast

by the Village Elliott

For Mrs. O’Leary’ Cow and the 2016 World Champion Chicago Cubs

Mrs. O’Leary’s cow better hide:
Cubs fans now toddle down Near North Side,
Feeding schneid’s hungry ghost
With Burnt Scapegoat Cubs Roast;
Chitown’s hottest night since Old Town cried.


World Series Game Seven

by Hilary Barta

Birria for Everyone!

’Twas a plot that a lunatic wrote
With a knot firmly caught in his throat
Pop the bubbly, boys,
For the Cubs, make some noise
Took a lot, but we slaughtered the goat.

Staying Alive

by Hilary Barta

Back to Cleveland and Erie’s south shore,
To even the series … and more?
If Chicago’s a winner
Chief Wahoo, that grinner,
Will be heaving warm beer on the floor.


Just a Heads-Up

by James Finn Garner

When Kershaw pitches, why show up?
There’s better things to do — wise up!
Hang decorations from your stirrups
Take up pottery and throw a cup
Go to Tindr for quick hookups
Inventory your Dixie cups
Visit a shelter and adopt a pup
Invent a new, no-glute ketchup
Lip-synch “Build Me Up Buttercup”

But don’t take your at-bat. Just give up.


When He’s On, Your Chances Are Nonexistent

by Michael X. Ferraro

Wanna clobber Corey Kluber?
The very notion is absurd.
His yakker’s as hard to sit on
as the eggs of a dodo bird


Hey Clevelanders! Michael X. Ferraro wrote a satirical novel called Circus Catch that examines the plight of being a football fan in your otherwise sport-tastic town! Look for it now!

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.