Browse all poems and songs in the 'The Game Itself' Category


Time-Saving Seventh-Inning Anthem

by Ron Kaplan

Buy me some peanuts.
I don’t care.
Let us root root for the laundry;
If they don’t win, meh.
For it’s two strikes, you’re out.
The end.

(Time of game: 2:10)

 

Ron Kaplan operates the very literate website Ron Kaplan’s Baseball Bookshelf and is the author of 501 Baseball Books Fans Must Read Before They Die.



Utley’s Coroner

by Michael X. Ferraro

Chase Utley gets plunked all the time.
Sometimes he leans in, like a mime.
But Matt Harvey drilled hard,
Because Chase took him yard.
Does Baseball not think this a crime?

 

Chase Utley led the league in HBP three years running, from 2007-9. He has also homered so often to the right field porch at Citi Field, the Mets announcers have christened it “Utley’s Corner.”

Michael X. Ferraro is a writer and Phillies fan trapped in Los Angeles. His latest book is the satirical sports novel, Circus Catch.



Alex Rios’ April

By Stuart Shea

Signed to a deal by the Royals–
A chance to retighten my coils.

Given an everyday job,
Replacing that Aoki slob.

Drilled by a rookie in April–
Knocked me on my ass like a vape will.

Out for six to eight weeks,
A delight to those analyst geeks.

 



Catastrophe in Cleveland

By Susan Petrone

Brantley’s back, Yan Gomes’ knee,
And now Carrasco’s face.
A week into the season,
The curse runs fast apace.

 

Susan Petrone’s new novel is Throw Like a Woman. She blogs frequently about the Tribe at the website It’s Pronounced Lajaway.



Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: Intro

by Stuart Shea

It was 17 years ago today
The home run chase seemed to save the day
But the numbers weren’t what they seemed
Neither Sosa nor McGwire were clean

Here’s regime change for you (if anybody really cares)
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew!

(skin flute solos)

We’re Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Now come and pee into this cup
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Our game is on the up-and-up

Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew

It’s wonderful to be clean
It gives us such a thrill
To know we’ve purged the game of drugs
Except, of course, for adderall
And liquor pays our bills!

I don’t really want to stop the game
But I’d like to make a little claim
What will happen, can you deduce,
When they legalize a “drug of abuse”?

Have you thought about what that will mean
When 300 million folks ain’t “clean”
Like Sgt. Manfred’s smiling Drug-Test crew?

 

 

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