by Arthur Longbrake
My sermon today, said Reverend Jones,
is baseball and whence it came.
Now, if you take the Good Book and you take a good look,
you will find the first Baseball Game.
It says Eve stole first, Adam second;
Solomon umpired the game.
Rebecca went to the well with a pitcher,
And Ruth in the field made a name.
Goliath was struck out by David —
A base hit was made on Abel by Cain,
And the Prodigal Son made a great home-run.
Brother Noah gave checks out for rain.
Jonah wailed — went down swinging.
Later he popped up again.
A lion-drive by ole Nebuchadnezzar
Made Daniel warm-up in the pen.
Delilah was pitching to Samson,
When he brought down the house with a clout,
And the Angels that day made a double-play
That’s when Adam and Eve were thrown out.
Ole St. Pete was checking errors,
Also had charge of the gate.
Salome sacrificed Big John the Baptist
Who wound up ahead on the plate.
Satan was pitching that apple
And looked as though he might fan ‘em all,
But then Joshua let go a mighty blow
And blasted one right at the wall.
And then the Lord wound up and took good aim,
And started the very First Baseball Game.
And, now we all know the way that the game was begun,
And to this very day — It’s still Number One!
First published anonymously in the Sporting News in 1906
by Tony Puma
“Take me out to the ball game”
Please stand for the National Anthem.
The Home Team takes the field: PLAY BALL!
Bottom of third, man on base,
pitch low and inside, count 3 & 2.
Fastball, strike 3, Batter out.
Man left on base.
The Mick, Duke, Willie, Jackie, Pee Wee,
The Scooter, Yogi, Joe D., Dizzy and Daffy,
Who’s on first. Abbott & Costello.
Red Sox and White Sox.
“take me out with the crowd”
Twi-light double header:
Cardinals and Orioles.
Da’ Reds/Dem Bums/ The Gas House Gang
Murderers Row/ The Bronx Bombers.
Reliever: South Paw ,Knuckleballer, 2.52 ERA.
The Sultan of Swat/The Splendid Splinter.
The Iron Man.
Lou Gehrig’s disease.
“buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack”
Bottom of 7th, nothing-nothing.
Seventh inning stretch.
Padres and Angels.
A No-Hitter/A Perfect Game.
“I don’t care if I never get back”
Designated Hitter/Pinch Hitter.
Foul ball/Double play.
Catcher gives the sign.
Tying run at the Plate.
The Yankees win the World Series!
Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants:
Topps Baseball cards.
Indians and Braves.
Can’t anyone here play this game?
“let me root, root, root for the home team”
Rain delay/Box scores/Extra innings/K’s/RBI’s.
Only the ball was white.
Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio . . .
Devil Rays and Marlins.
Frozen Rope/Texas Leaguer.
Bull Pen/Home Plate/Batter’s Box.
Old-Timers Day/All Star Game.
I GOT IT!
“if they don’t win, it’s a shame”
Tagged out/Stolen base.
A swing and a miss.
Pitcher’s mound/Rosin bag/The Rubber.
Red Bird/Phillie Phanatic.
Cubs and Tigers.
A Sinker, down-and-out.
“for it’s one, two , three strikes you’re out
I watch a group of kids playing
baseball in a cow pasture.
“at the old Ball Game.”
by Stephen Jones
Ryan Raburn’s awful throw –
Perhaps the most errant ever made
(At least so far this MLB season,
As tabloids quickly blurted) –
Left Cleveland fans in disbelief.
It was painful to watch and
Made ESPN’s “Not Top 10″
But, as one pundit did remark,
While Raburn is a Golden Glover
This one errant bit of fallibility
Reinforces our short-term memory and
“What’ve you done for me lately?”
by James Finn Garner
A Ferrari swing
In a Hummer body
A lumbering frame
On limber ankles
A clean blood test
In a filthy era
The Big Hurt on the field
The big heart in the speech
Paying the price
Of small-market loyalty
But it’s oh so nice
To be Cooperstown royalty