Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Arizona Diamondbacks
The sun shines hottest
On the king of the hill, but
How strong are your arms?
Colorado Rockies
Nobody can hear
The landslide coming until
The season’s ruined.
Los Angeles Dodgers
All your spring wishes,
Your summer smiles, meaningless
Until October.
San Diego Padres
Unlucky last year?
The key crops did not produce.
This is not a test.
San Francisco Giants
Grandson of the Wind
Carries major talent and
Great expectations.
Score a run in eighth
ruin Halos’ shut out bid
spoil sport Rockies
C.J. Cron
Will talk on the phone
For hours and hours
With other BTS followers.
Alejandro Kirk
Doesn’t like to work
On anything other than
His abs and his tan.
Kyle Tucker
Loves the Drive-By Truckers
And any other bands that wanna
Straddle genres.
Tony Gonsolin
Keeps a pet pangolin
And regularly massages the armor
Of that weird little charmer.
forty two jerseys
on every field today
saluting Jackie
Walker made the Hall
polite mild euphoric surge
up Canada way