Topple Heavy

by Hilary Barta

Dave Kingman would give it his all
Each powerful swing at the ball
But, missing, he’d spin
And, to his chagrin
Would teeter off balance and fall.

Illustration by Jim Siergey

All-Star Clerihews #2 — Clerihews and the Temple of Doom

Emannuel Clase
Is certainly not blase
About playing in the All-Star Game
And getting autographs from all the big names.

Juan Soto
Sank all his money in Photo-
Mats. He’d be wiser
To find a new investment adviser.

Corey Seager
Is always eager
To discuss chemtrails.
For clearing a room, it never fails.

Josh Jung
Once stuck his tongue
To a pole in mid-winter
But was in no danger in San Jacinto.

All-Star Clerihews #1 — Raiders of the Lost Clerihew

Marcus Stroman
Knows his history, Greek and Roman.
To pass the time on the team bus
He’ll recite passages from “I, Claudius.”

Luis Arraez
Can do that thing with his eyes
Where he looks to the left, then
Moves the left eye alone to the center again.

Brent Rooker
Has nothing against hookers.
Time will tell if he still plays
For the Las Vegas A’s.

Josh Hader
Loves to play Space Invaders,
Galaxian, Centipede, Donkey Kong
And even Pong.