Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Literal Relief

by Jim Siergey

Chicago is wondering where
the Sox got their “firemen” from.
I only can ponder that they’re
from Fahrenheit Four Fifty-One.

 



Yankees 8 / Tigers 4 – 08/27/2014

by Stephen Jones

Detroit spent good money for an ace
To make their play in the pennant race,
But the Yankees made a mess of Price:
He was shell-shocked and put on ice.

Detroit’s future is fast getting fuzzy,
Or, as Yogi once said, “It gets late early.”
When it was all said and done tonight,
In Motown The Price Was (Not) Right.

 



On Watching Buster Posey Hit Homers #6 and #7

By Stuart Shea

Not to be nosey,
Buster Posey,
But what has taken so long
For your bat to shower
The Giants with power?
I miss that “Bye Bye, Baby” song!

 



The Yankee Contracts Poem

by Hart Seely

Three more years of A-Rod,
Each, twenty million-plus.
Three more years of C.C.,
Blown tires on the bus.
Six more years of Ellsb’ry,
Just where did we go wrong?
And two more years of Beltran…
I will not live that long.

Two more years, Teixeira,
McCann, until ’18.
Gardner through the following year,
By then, I’ll have no spleen.
We’ll play no one at shortstop.
Our system’s hit the wall.
And two more years of Beltran…
Who cannot throw the ball.

Six more years, Tanaka.
Already, looking frail.
And Prado for another two.
By then, we’ll own Chris Sale.
We punted in the bidding,
And so jettisoned Cano.
For two more years of Beltran…
Dear God, please let me go!

Our Father, up in heaven,
Where contracts loom so large,
Two hundred million buys a boat
That steers just like a barge.
We’re dead throughout the order,
A slugger? No, not one!
With two more years of Beltran…
God, wake me when it’s done.

Hart Seely is custodian and ticket taker at the always-entertaining Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is … caught.

 



Tarp Bailout

by James Finn Garner

Of all the things that vex the Cubs –
That same sad old refrain –
From day games to Bartman to billy goats
We can add to that roster “rain”.

Rolling out the tarp may look simple
Hardly “mechanical”, ’tis true
Yet what can go wrong surely will go wrong
For those bleeding Cubby blue

The Giants have something to play for
And were lucky to get the game suspended.
The Cubs are still playing “Chicago’s Got Talent!”
But watching them can’t be recommended.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.