Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Hope of the Hot Stove League

by George Bowering

My fantasy team
gets worse and worser.
I hope I get to
draft Max Scherzer.

George Bowering is the author of more than 100 books. In 2002, he was named Canada’s first Parliamentary Poet Laureate.

 



Instant Replay

by James Finn Garner

Eric Hosmer’s modified mullet
MadBum casually firing bullets

Superfans from South Korea
The panicked look on Kelvin Herrera

Phantom sighting of the Freak
Plugging Aoki’s defensive leak

Peavy shelled like the Hellespont
Escobar laying down a bunt???

Joe Buck opining from his tuchus
Of redoubtable Mike Moustakas

Gordon’s single to the wall
Cool-as-horchata Sandoval

What the hell is Ned Yost thinking?
I’ll have whatever Pence is drinking

Crawford gobbles up ground balls
Bochy weeps, and Affeldt bawls

Young Joe Panik, Dyson, Cain…
Can we please do it all again?

 



Requiem for a Bat

By Stuart Shea

The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.

Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.

Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.

Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.

 



World Series Pop Quiz

By Stephen Jones

The Royals must be hoping
The answer to this quizzing.

Class – here’s a math curve ball.
Will the home team win it all?
Suppose it plays Game Seven
At home. What’s the percent, then?

The Royals may be singing
The answer to this quizzing.

You in the back – what did you say?
Eight out of ten teams win the day?
That’s 80% – and numbers don’t lie.
Maybe that’s the KC reason why

It must be smiling
During pop quizzing.

 



It All Comes Down To

By Stuart Shea

A Baseball Fan’s Heaven–
World Series Game Seven.
So Let’s Turn it Up to Eleven!

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.