Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


To Mike Francesa and Boomer Esiason–with no love

By Stuart Shea

If we let newborns have time with dads,
They’ll never develop the requisite ‘nads

To preside on AM radio courts
About how these softies are wrecking sports

By bringing in stuff like “love” and “hope”
To an audience raised on slackjawed dopes.

 



Backstop in Bloom

by Jim Siergey

It’s Spring!
Flowers
is blooming
Tyler’s hitting full tilt.
But, Dang!
The hours
are looming
we know Flowers will wilt.

 



Rick Monday

by James Finn Garner

Rick Monday
Born on Tuesday
Homered off Seaver Wednesday
Traded on Thursday
Saved the flag Friday
Broke Canada’s heart Saturday
Retired on Sunday
And that’s why people still talk about Rick Monday.

 



Masterbaseball

By Stuart Shea

Furbush?
Pujols?
Fister?
Head?
I was watching a game
But got Penthouse instead.
A Chatwood? A Dinkelman? They’re not reassuring–
they both sound painful,
though perhaps alluring.
It’s just like the old days, when we’d annoonce
That the Sox had a player named Rusty Kuntz.

 



Opening Day 2014

by Philip Pecorino

What a wonder!
This year it was in the Land Down Under.

Then again, it began.
Way out West came the first test.

Californians appear in the lead
Until the rest get up to speed.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.