Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Poetic Legacy

by the Village Elliott

For the 2016 World Champion Chicago Cubs

Yo, Chief, start Trib’s presses!
Our Extra expresses
Best headline since “Dewey Has Won!”
Lead with, “Cubs Now the Bride
After Hundred-Year Schneid:
Scapegoat Exorcised with Gonfalon.”

Yes, the Cubs exorcised
Longest World Series schneid
With a young team of great destiny,
But it’s happened before,
“Destined” youths win no more,
Team grows old, earns “Not Quite” legacy.

I read: “Said Connie Mack,
When Al Simmons came back
The year after won first bat title:
‘To be true champion
You must win second one,
Defending your title, that’s vital.’

“‘I believe that I shall,’
Replied Bucket-foot Al,
And, indeed, as bat champ, did repeat . . .”
So what Cubbies must do,
Is win Crown Number Two,
Snatching title from series defeat,

Would be “great champion”
If Cubs win second one
By repeating most poetically:
Since in Theo both trust,
Seems to me Cubbies must
Defeat Red Sox to seal Legacy.

 



Watching the World Series from Dusseldorf

by Frank Thorwirth

At 6 to 6 the game was even
Rain delay, doubt in believing.
Go to sleep while eyes shut down?
Are you kidding me, clown?
A friend from Chicago on the phone,
What the f . . . Together we moan.
The 10th with only three more outs,
And believe it or not, no more doubts,
Hours away from Chicago’s North Side,
Sitting, standing awake, still with home pride.
It’s 5:38, it’s finally fixed,
Remember MEZ means “minus six”
Now we can go for an hour to bed,
with no more bad dreams —
The curse of the goat — it’s dead!

 



Walking a Tightrope

by James Finn Garner

Chicago fans live and breathe hope
Yet Joe’s moves would’ve frightened the pope.
Did he forget he had Wood, Grimm and Strop
When from the pen Aroldis did lope?
Was he “giving himself enough rope”
Or following his horoscope,
Hurtling down a treacherous slope
By aggressively pushing the envelope?
Was our genius skipper really a dope?

Nope!

 



Because Nothing Rhymes with Schwarber

by James Finn Garner

Sluggo! Sluggo!
My eyes went all bug-o
And I gave myself a hug-o
When into the lineup you were plug-oed!

Ya big bald lug-o
You give our heartstrings a tug-o
Don’t pull out the rug-o
Or let us get smug-o
Now let’s toss the Tribe in the jug-o
Welcome back, Sluggo!

 



The Season, the Best Since Forty-Five

by Millie Bovich

You know Caray, up in Heaven, followed each and every game
Although without his booming voice, it hasn’t been the same.

But the coaches and the fans alike were giving all they had
And the Cubbie team reciprocated, winning games like mad.

Some games were rough and tumble, and some an easy nine.
Fans took the bitter with the sweet, no reason to malign.

They studied all opponents, not a game they chose to lose,
And the coaches had much input and advised with all their clues.

The loyal fans attended, Wrigley almost burst its seams
For the season, best in decades, for the season of their dreams.

While the schedule wore on daily from the first game to the last
And most the time we celebrated, watched the home team blast.

The “Ws” were piling up, and fans were quite amazed
With wins from Kyle and his bunch, Chicago woke up dazed.

And when the season ended with the stats all in the books,
Our Cubbies ended right on top, no more the dirty looks.

Now way above old Wrigley Field there flies the pennant flag.
We’ve reason now to hold heads high, we’ve reason now to brag.

And the cheering, oh the cheering, is reverberating now
From Chicago, Mrs. Murphy, and the famed O’Leary cow.

So Caray rests so peacefully, a smile upon his face.
At last his team, Chicago Cubs, has surely won the race.

Soon the Indians come a’calling, and there’s fervor in their eyes
We are ready, set for action – GO CUBS! GO BEAT THOSE GUYS!

 

While Millie Bovich is our senior Tigers correspondent, she also claims a loyalty to Chicago due to five years’ living in Riverside and Des Plaines, IL.

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.