The Ballad of Nyjer Morgan
By Stuart Shea
Nyjer Morgan? What a jerk,
Putting catchers out of work.
Doesn’t get on base a lot,
Doesn’t use the speed he’s got.
Doesn’t understand the game,
Hasn’t got an ounce of shame,
Fighting with obnoxious fans,
Tossing baseballs in the stands.
The silver lining to this song?
He won’t be here for very long.
K KO
By Stuart Shea
If Roger goes to court,
It’ll be an unfamiliar sport,
Where there’s no way to throw inside
Or otherwise use horsehide.
Who will decide?
When Roger’s in the book,
How will all the numbers look?
Seven Cy Youngs should say it all,
But the Feds are gonna have a ball
About Winstrol.
Something Short of Grandish
by Hart Seely
All-star person.
Standup guy.
Ask for effort,
He shall try.
Fine on defense,
Solid mitt.
Can’t hit lefties.
Not one whit.
Sterling fellow.
Never slacks.
Teammate pals,
He’s got their backs.
Plays the outfield,
With aplomb.
Can’t hit lefties.
What a bum.
K-Rod, Relief Ace
By Stuart Shea
.
K-Rod, relief ace,
Why smash your father-in-law in the face?
3 Mil down the drain,
And you won’t ever pitch for the Mets again.
K-Rod, bad thumb,
Going to court when the surgery’s done.
You didn’t bend–only break,
And your life has changed from one mistake.
Summer Solace
by Doug Fahrendorff
Not much has gone right
For the Brewers this year.
Contenders? Surely you jest!
The hitting and pitching
Have both been erratic,
The fielding far from the best.
Doug Melvin insists
He’s done what he can
To build a contending team
But fans shake their heads.
A division crown
Seems like an impossible dream.
Still all is not lost.
Despite the record,
Things aren’t entirely black.
We may not be winning
But fans can rejoice:
At least Bob Uecker is back!
