Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Instant Replay

by James Finn Garner

Eric Hosmer’s modified mullet
MadBum casually firing bullets

Superfans from South Korea
The panicked look on Kelvin Herrera

Phantom sighting of the Freak
Plugging Aoki’s defensive leak

Peavy shelled like the Hellespont
Escobar laying down a bunt???

Joe Buck opining from his tuchus
Of redoubtable Mike Moustakas

Gordon’s single to the wall
Cool-as-horchata Sandoval

What the hell is Ned Yost thinking?
I’ll have whatever Pence is drinking

Crawford gobbles up ground balls
Bochy weeps, and Affeldt bawls

Young Joe Panik, Dyson, Cain…
Can we please do it all again?

 



Requiem for a Bat

By Stuart Shea

The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.

Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.

Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.

Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.

 



World Series Pop Quiz

By Stephen Jones

The Royals must be hoping
The answer to this quizzing.

Class – here’s a math curve ball.
Will the home team win it all?
Suppose it plays Game Seven
At home. What’s the percent, then?

The Royals may be singing
The answer to this quizzing.

You in the back – what did you say?
Eight out of ten teams win the day?
That’s 80% – and numbers don’t lie.
Maybe that’s the KC reason why

It must be smiling
During pop quizzing.

 



It All Comes Down To

By Stuart Shea

A Baseball Fan’s Heaven–
World Series Game Seven.
So Let’s Turn it Up to Eleven!



The Bridges of Madison (Bumgarner)

by Stephen Jones

His big presence on the mound
Leaves batters feeling unsound.
(At 0.39, his ERA
Is the lowest in post-season play.)
If Clint Eastwood was in the picture,
It might be “Ace Immune to Pressure.”

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.