Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


The Ballad of Nyjer Morgan

By Stuart Shea

Nyjer Morgan? What a jerk,
Putting catchers out of work.

Doesn’t get on base a lot,
Doesn’t use the speed he’s got.

Doesn’t understand the game,
Hasn’t got an ounce of shame,

Fighting with obnoxious fans,
Tossing baseballs in the stands.

The silver lining to this song?
He won’t be here for very long.



K KO

By Stuart Shea

If Roger goes to court,
It’ll be an unfamiliar sport,
Where there’s no way to throw inside
Or otherwise use horsehide.
Who will decide?

When Roger’s in the book,
How will all the numbers look?
Seven Cy Youngs should say it all,
But the Feds are gonna have a ball
About Winstrol.



Something Short of Grandish

by Hart Seely

All-star person.
Standup guy.
Ask for effort,
He shall try.
Fine on defense,
Solid mitt.
Can’t hit lefties.
Not one whit.

Sterling fellow.
Never slacks.
Teammate pals,
He’s got their backs.
Plays the outfield,
With aplomb.
Can’t hit lefties.
What a bum.



K-Rod, Relief Ace

By Stuart Shea
.
K-Rod, relief ace,
Why smash your father-in-law in the face?
3 Mil down the drain,
And you won’t ever pitch for the Mets again.
K-Rod, bad thumb,
Going to court when the surgery’s done.
You didn’t bend–only break,
And your life has changed from one mistake.



Summer Solace

by Doug Fahrendorff

Not much has gone right
For the Brewers this year.
Contenders? Surely you jest!

The hitting and pitching
Have both been erratic,
The fielding far from the best.

Doug Melvin insists
He’s done what he can
To build a contending team

But fans shake their heads.
A division crown
Seems like an impossible dream.

Still all is not lost.
Despite the record,
Things aren’t entirely black.

We may not be winning
But fans can rejoice:
At least Bob Uecker is back!

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

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AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.