Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Unctuous Aiken Poem

By Stuart Shea

Houston drafted a pitcher named Aiken
Then said he was damaged, though his elbow ain’t achin’.
No one agreed on appropriate bacon,
Makin’ non-achin’ Aiken’s a special deal-breakin’.

 



Springertime in Houston

By Stuart Shea

This George Springer–
A real humdinger,
From-the-heels swinger,
Highlight bringer,
Bad-pitch stinger,
But for all we know
He’s not much of a singer.



Deep Thoughts (Inner Monologue of a Gopherball)

by Michael X. Ferraro

Giancarlo, when I approached,
Via soft-serve toss of a coach
I foolishly said, “Let’s be friends!”
But instead I now have the bends.

As I rocket o’er Target Field,
McCutcheon gasps and Gordon squealed.
My path now is parabolic
Forget ‘roids– are you bionic?

Mr. Stanton, I hold no grudge.
I’m a baseball, not a judge.
The fans swoon like they’ve seen Kirby
as I leave this Home Run Derby.



All-Star Clerihews #3

By Hugh Encrye

Adam Wainwright
Played the “unwritten rules” right,
Grooved the Captain a pitch to hit,
Then found himself in a world of trouble.

Miguel Cabrera
The greatest hitter of our era.
Pitch the pill behind his back
And still he’ll give that ball a whack.

Mike Trout
Didn’t hit one out,
But a double and a triple
Ain’t kibble.



Mockery on Hold for Now

by R J Lesch

The All-Star Game is happening tonight.
Now, usually I mock this whole parade.
It ought to be exciting, big, and bright,
but TV makes it worse than a charade.

The pageantry is tedious when viewed
on television narrated by hacks
on Fox who, let’s just say, are not imbued
with any grasp of poetry or facts.

But this time, I’ll be there! Up in the stands!
I won’t hear Joe Buck jabber something lame.
No sitcom star close-ups, no gimmick cams.
Just baseball. Pageant, sure, but still, a game!

No mockery from me tonight? We’ll see.
But driven by the game, and not TV.

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.