Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Rue Confessions

by James Finn Garner

It’s time for apple picking
I need to clean the gutters
Might fix that drawer that’s sticking
Closet mess gives me shudders

Books to read, letters to pen,
Chores too numerous to name
I’d trade all this, plus more again
If I could watch another game.

 



Pen of Bull

by James Finn Garner

Strop, Rondon, Duensing and Edwards
Nothing instigates dread like these words

Edwards, Duensing, Strop and Rondon
Strewing more walks than a team can condone

Rondon, Duensing, Edwards and Strop
Barren of any resilience or hope

Edwards, Strop, Rondon and Duensing
Fill me in later ‘cuz I can’t keep watching

 



Watching the Yankees/Indians ALDS Rubber Game

by Stephen Jones

I realized, late in the game,
That things have changed–it’s not the same.

The future of baseball is now
Summed up in just one word–pow.

No more round-the-bases conga dancing–
It’s power pitching and power hitting.

Maybe this’ll bring in younger fans.
That’s what MLB wants in the stands.

Anyway: live arm … and live bat–
Right now, it’s as simple as that.

 



A Fistful of Dodgers

by James Finn Garner

The play of Bellinger
Is very telling, sir.
These Bums are eager
To, with Cody and Segar,
Ride youth to the end.
Oh, and also spend spend spend spend spend.

 



Neil Diamond Gem

by James Finn Garner

I adore the playoffs
When the season’s on the line
Mistakes a bit more tragic
Nice plays near divine
Veterans get one last lap
And rookies get to shine
I only wish they hadn’t made me
Hate “Sweet Caroline”

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.