Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


From the Back of the Room

by Stephen Jones

Hey, know-all’s — you once confidently said
The World Series this year is for the birds.
But surprise . . . your Cardinals and Orioles
Have flown south in avian farewell.

You may analyse ’til you are blue,
But that old adage, it still holds true:
Pitching, not hitting, wins in postseason.
The Giants, the Royals have this in legion.

 



Bye-Bye, Birdie

by Stephen Jones

The Oriole got stuffed.
Mounted, on the shelf
By sweeping Royal decree . . .
It was a KC taxidermy.

 



Cubs Lose!

by Jim U-Boat, the Poet Laureate of Calumet City

In honor of the 106th anniversary Tuesday of the last Cubs World Series victory.

Before you all blow
Your hard-worked-for dough
On dumb, next-year-we’ll-win theories,
I’ll remind you again
Of how long it’s been
Since the Cubs have won the World Series.

It’s 106 years!
And oceans of tears
Since Cub players were rightly called greats.
We’re now 10 decades hence,
Nineteen presidents
From our country of 47 states.

There were no CDs,
TVs, or LPs;
Eight years before stainless steel;
Reagan hadn’t been born
Of Illinois corn;
A score before the New Deal.

When the Cubs last decided
Without being chided
To win (back then they were ready),
The White House’s star
Was not FDR –
It was his ol’ cousin Teddy.

Cub fans should wean
Themselves off a team
That’s “0-for” since 1908,
But these masochists
Will always exist
While others, in turn, celebrate.

 



Birds of a Feather

by Stephen Jones

Somehow, it seems,
The Oriole team
Has switched feathers
With their KC brothers.

Now they’re blue,
Don’t know what to do,
While Royals are tweeting
This Baltimore beating.

 



Your Daily Affirmation, from Brad Ausmus

by James Finn Garner

Don’t be glum
Don’t ask why
Albuquerque’s just a 6th inning guy

Don’t you fret
Don’t you worry
After the 7th, we’ll turn to Soria

Don’t lose hope
Just have faith — when
It’s down to one inning, we’ll bring in Nathan

No matter where
Or what or when,
I’m skipper, and would do it all again.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.