Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Spring 2015

by Nathan Rudy

My Mets will win games, that much is clear,
With Harvey, deGrom and others this year.
If Cuddyer can hit, and Flores finds his mitt,
We won’t toss Alderson out on his ear.

But the best is out west, in the dry Vegas air,
Pitching their hearts out as arm tendons tear.
Matz, Monterro and Thor now are great,
But can’t reach the majors ‘til 21 days late.

So fans of the Mets will continue to fret,
Ownership’s bank account hasn’t recovered yet,
And hope for a year when we surpass 81,
And get to the playoffs ‘fore this century’s done.

 



Rendon, Rodon and Rondon

by James Finn Garner

Rendon, Rodon and Rondon
Were drinking beers one day
Their waitress Babs then served the tab
But couldn’t get it paid

For Rendon tore his tendon
When reaching for his dough
And the harlots down in Charlotte
Had left Rodon with diddly-oh

Rondon’s wing was in a sling
His back pocket much too far
So poor old Babs had to eat the tab
And banned them from her bar

 



A Cards Fan, All but Alone in Michigan, Worries

by Alan P. Rudy

Matheny loves vets, it is ever so clear,
But picking up Masterson was certainly queer.
So, uh, now Lackey! who used to strike fear,
But these days  looks irked and needs him a beer.

The death of Taveras, and Heyward’s in right
To force Grichuk to fight for a spot every night,
While Wacha and Jaime return to the fight
Just in time — I tell you, the division’s a fright!

 

A little boy in St. Louis for the three runs at the World Series in the 1960s, Alan’s love of the Cardinals was cemented by the nightmare of moving to Mets territory in ’69. These days he’s married to a Cards fan he met in the land of the Giants, is raising two ball-playing boys with hair longer than Ted Simmons ever had, and teaches Sociology at Central Michigan University.



Down-Market Lament

by George Bowering

Some rotations have Lester or Scherzer
While mine gets werzer and werzer.
My starters and closers continue to fester
While other owners have Scherzer or Lester.

 



42

by Stephen Jones

There’ve been discussions all this week.
Surprise! The owners want to tweak.
The object of their discussion?
The American League custom—
The DH, aged  forty-two.
Now they want to make it true—
Thinking, of course, of revenue—
In the National League purview.

Clearly, envy of the NFL—
Where points and cash are scored pell-mell—
Is coloring this discussion.
Hopefully, this “alteration”
Of baseball’s unique separation
Will merit no consideration.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.