Browse all poems and songs in the 'Pure doggerel' Category


Danks For Nothin’

By Stuart Shea

Don’t mean nothin’ how much he stanks–
Ventura’s gonna keep on using John Danks.
Don’t even matter how much he tanks,
OrĀ  politely mutters “Please” and “Thanks.”

Far be it from me to pull any ranks,
Or attack the clubhouse with guns and shanks,
Or call the sports talk shows pullin’ pranks,
But they’ve gotta have somebody better than Danks.

 



We Don’t Only Have Eyes for You

by Jim Siergey

Is Starlin out tonight?
Is his future cloudy or bright?
Cubs think that he’s way overdue

Fans’ hopes are all high
They see that pie in the sky
Cubs like Baez and Russell, too

We all know the choice is a hard one
Shortstop’s a crowded avenue

He’s still here, some ask “Why?”
His batting average once was high
But now it’s disappearing from view
And Joe doesn’t have eyes for you

So, is Starlin out tonight?
Will Adam or Javy be right?
Will he no longer wear Cubbie Blue?

 



Defender of the Ways

By Stu Shea

Madison Bumgarner doesn’t much care
For hitters who flip their bats into the air.
He’ll rip you a new one, buzz you inside,
Scream at you after retiring the side.

And he doesn’t care if you’re black or you’re white,
Latino or Asian…he’s up for a fight.
I have just one question to ask of you all–
Who appointed him guard of the castle of ball?



An Ode for Dave Dombrowski

by James Finn Garner

For all the effort
Restoring glory
The October result’s
The entire story

A franchise reborn
Butts in the seats
Traffic downtown
Pennant repeats

Strong arms and bats–
Some for the ages!–
Might end up mere stats
On old dusty pages

Without a ring
You’re as good as dead
When the Pizza King
Shouts, “Off with his head!”

 



Playoff Crapshoot

by Stephen Jones

Tulowitski and Price–
Toronto’s
Big roll of the dice.

But before
We go all mental,
Remember,
This move’s a rental.

Toronto still
Has to prove its worth
Is more than
Just a wildcard berth.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.