Browse all poems and songs in the 'Kansas City Royals' Category

When Astros Hurlers Fall to Earth

by James Finn Garner

Walt Harris
Called his therapist

Tony Sipp
Stared and pulled his lip

Luke Gregerson’s
Nervous rash worsened

And the team vowed to shake it off, man,
Before trying to steal Game 5 at Kaufmann.



by Dan Quisenberry

don’t believe that lie
about sticks and stones

words are the strongest weapon
under the sun

it’s words that start wars,
broker the peace

in the beginning was the word
and it was God,
and still is

and if you use the wrong ones
i’ll sock you in the nose
ram your car

and if you use the right words
i will praise you
kiss your face
and long for your company


They’re ALL Stars in Kansas City

By Stu Shea

Hey, K.C. fans! Embrace the absurd.
No matter how foolish, it’s your time to be heard!

Vote with your heart instead of your brain–
Instead of Mike Trout, vote Lorenzo Cain!

It’s been so long since the Royals could play,
You’re making a point to the whole U.S.A.

Miggy Cabrera? He ain’t no good.
So just vote for Hosmer–we knew that you would.

And Omar Infante’s the one for you,
Even if he’s hitting .192.

And sure, Alex Rios is on the DL,
And he ain’t that good anyway…but, what the hell!

Click on his name, click all the Royals,
As Western fans grumble and Easterns recoil,

But don’t blame us–we won’t be the goats–
If the A.L. loses on account of your votes.


Whoo Gosh, Those Twins!

by James Finn Garner

Criminy Jinkies!
What’s with those Twinkies?
Didn’t they get the memo
That this season’s just a demo?
That Molitor is too green
And the talent is too lean
To do any better than
Coming in an also-ran?
Now they’re making it a contest
Keeping the Tigers honest,
Nipping the heels of Kansas City
And making the Hose and Tribe look —
well, we don’t talk that way up here, mister.


Rookie Debut (Yankees 14, KC 1)

by Stephen Jones

Yesterday, a kid–Slade Heathcott–
Hit his first big league home run.
In the majors for only a week,
He hadn’t even seen his team win.

But the Yankees put their slide on hold
And waxed KC’S Guthrie but good.
Maybe Steinbrenner’s ghost had paid
The Yankee locker room a visit.

Maybe Slade saw the ghost as well,
Maybe he was just glad to be alive,
Because he smacked a ball over centerfield
And called the experience “surreal”.


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Copyright 2007 Bardball.