Browse all poems and songs in the 'Kansas City Royals' Category


Instant Replay

by James Finn Garner

Eric Hosmer’s modified mullet
MadBum casually firing bullets

Superfans from South Korea
The panicked look on Kelvin Herrera

Phantom sighting of the Freak
Plugging Aoki’s defensive leak

Peavy shelled like the Hellespont
Escobar laying down a bunt???

Joe Buck opining from his tuchus
Of redoubtable Mike Moustakas

Gordon’s single to the wall
Cool-as-horchata Sandoval

What the hell is Ned Yost thinking?
I’ll have whatever Pence is drinking

Crawford gobbles up ground balls
Bochy weeps, and Affeldt bawls

Young Joe Panik, Dyson, Cain…
Can we please do it all again?

 



Requiem for a Bat

By Stuart Shea

The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.

Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.

Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.

Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.

 



Super Non-Collider

by Jim Siergey

A hit off of Bum that was erred
but Gordon was stopped there at third.
.   To home was not steered
.   Was “Posey Rule” feared?
A Shot ‘Round the World now unheard.

 



The Seventh Game

by the Village Elliott

Once again starting pitching had sucked;
Saved by double play Joe Panik plucked;
.     Bochy didn’t have a doubt
.     Mad Bum would get last out,
And Royals’ title the Giants abduct.

(And the Royals get their title hopes f**ked.)

 



World Series Pop Quiz

By Stephen Jones

The Royals must be hoping
The answer to this quizzing.

Class – here’s a math curve ball.
Will the home team win it all?
Suppose it plays Game Seven
At home. What’s the percent, then?

The Royals may be singing
The answer to this quizzing.

You in the back – what did you say?
Eight out of ten teams win the day?
That’s 80% – and numbers don’t lie.
Maybe that’s the KC reason why

It must be smiling
During pop quizzing.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.