Browse all poems and songs in the 'Kansas City Royals' Category


American League Central 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

WHITE SOX
Can the Sox play tough?
White indicates purity…
Are dirty suits allowed?

INDIANS
If only Swisher
Struck out more often…but then,
Truth ain’t poetry.

TIGERS
The old roar is gone…
No more sneaking cigarettes.
It’s a young man’s turn.

ROYALS
It is difficult
To keep from strangling youth with
High expectations.

TWINS
Mauer ain’t sour,
He’s heretofore banished from
Those bad Twins hurlers.

 



Ode to a Playoff Berth

by Susan Petrone

I’ve never been much for numbers, I’ve always preferred words.
Fractions, sets, and integers lose out to nouns and verbs.
But this time of year I find myself in a mathematical dance
Trying hard to calculate the Indians’ playoff chance.

If KC can beat Detroit, the Tigers drop a game
But that won’t help us out at all ‘cuz then the Royals gain.
If the Twins can beat the A’s (and there’s frost in hell),
We’ll move up in the Wild Card and that would be just swell.

Percentage-wise, our playoff chance is not quite one in five
(Okay, nineteen point three percent in sabermetic jive).
That’s down from Wednesday but up from last week so it’s not a tragedy.
Overall our chances show a slight upward traject’ry.

All this talk about the odds and match-ups and the rest
Doesn’t address the simplest solution that’s the best:
Just have the Tribe win every game in a run-inducing flurry,
I’ll buy my playoff tix and leave the other teams to worry.

 

Susan Petrone regularly posts on the Indians at It’s Pronounced Lajaway.



“You Got That Right”

By Stu Shea

The worst thing I can think of
(Besides painful boils)
Is Rex Hudler and Steve Physioc
Announcing the Royals.

 



Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

AL East
Boston
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no

Tampa
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine

Baltimore
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell

New York
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?

Toronto
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse

AL West
Oakland
Cespedes homers
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn!  Who ARE these guys?

Texas
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch

Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?

Seattle
In obscurity
They perform for loyal fans
Wait!  Ichiro’s where?

Houston
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago

AL Central
Detroit
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!

Cleveland
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss

Kansas City
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout

Minnesota
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit

Chicago
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up!  Git up!  Stretch!

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.



2013 AL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO
No Sale, no pennant?
Can Beckham bend it foreward?
Is Konerko Dunn?

CLEVELAND
Re-seeding is hard.
Big contracts are easier.
80-82.

DETROIT
No closer, no stress?
Just win every game by five!
(Time for a Zantac.)

KANSAS CITY
The Wil to win “soon”
Has been supplanted by the
Will to win today.

MINNESOTA
Ten thousand lakes teem
With tears from ticket-holding
Twin fan Targetees.

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

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AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.