by Susan Petrone
I’ve never been much for numbers, I’ve always preferred words.
Fractions, sets, and integers lose out to nouns and verbs.
But this time of year I find myself in a mathematical dance
Trying hard to calculate the Indians’ playoff chance.
If KC can beat Detroit, the Tigers drop a game
But that won’t help us out at all ‘cuz then the Royals gain.
If the Twins can beat the A’s (and there’s frost in hell),
We’ll move up in the Wild Card and that would be just swell.
Percentage-wise, our playoff chance is not quite one in five
(Okay, nineteen point three percent in sabermetic jive).
That’s down from Wednesday but up from last week so it’s not a tragedy.
Overall our chances show a slight upward traject’ry.
All this talk about the odds and match-ups and the rest
Doesn’t address the simplest solution that’s the best:
Just have the Tribe win every game in a run-inducing flurry,
I’ll buy my playoff tix and leave the other teams to worry.
Susan Petrone regularly posts on the Indians at It’s Pronounced Lajaway.
By Stu Shea
The worst thing I can think of
(Besides painful boils)
Is Rex Hudler and Steve Physioc
Announcing the Royals.
by D. Bruce Brown
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn! Who ARE these guys?
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch
Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?
They perform for loyal fans
Wait! Ichiro’s where?
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up! Git up! Stretch!
D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997. He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.
By Stuart Shea
No Sale, no pennant?
Can Beckham bend it foreward?
Is Konerko Dunn?
Re-seeding is hard.
Big contracts are easier.
No closer, no stress?
Just win every game by five!
(Time for a Zantac.)
The Wil to win “soon”
Has been supplanted by the
Will to win today.
Ten thousand lakes teem
With tears from ticket-holding
Twin fan Targetees.
By Joyce Heiser
Came out of high school, stayed in Texas awhile
Seems he just couldn’t make it all seem worthwhile
He’s movin’ on. He’s movin’ on.
Rangers said “So long son, go enjoy the sun”
He’s Marlin gone.
Minor leagues kept trading, kept cutting him loose
Never was the engine, just a little caboose
Seven years rolled on, they just moved on.
Finally majored a run in 2000 and 1
Would they keep him on?
Another year came and another deal too,
Milwaukee got him in 2002,
He still moved on, he was there and gone.
Led the league in base steals, tried to keep it real,
But they moved him on.
Chicago was home for a few good years
Got a World Series ring, a girl with bunny ears,
He’s carryin’ on, maybe he’ll stay on.
But another year came, and another ball game,
He packed and was gone.
Up in the mountains, till 2009,
Back to bat that year in the White Sox line,
Another movin’ on, another hometown gone.
Even though he had fans, Chicago had other plans
And they let him move on.
One year with the Royals, still stealing some base,
Let him go to the Dodgers, problems slowing his pace.
Trouble movin’ on, released and on his own.
Try up North, play the West, half-a-year at best
So he’s movin’ on.
Finally landed in Philly, more like Lackawanna
Scranton doesn’t really sound like baseball nirvana.
Will he be movin’ on? Sing that travelin’ song?
Thirteen teams, eighteen years, Hard to change your gears
And keep movin’ on.