by Michael X. Ferraro
Ask Iannetta and Kole Calhoun;
he will not forgive your trespasses.
Stick to one base or you’ll get erased
by the A’s Yoenis Cespedes.
The Oakland left fielder gunned down two runners at home plate in the second inning of Oakland’s 11-3 victory over the Angels on Saturday, May 31st.
By Stuart Shea
An Appel a day
Would keep the losses away
But he’s not yet ripe.
Ask A. Moreno–
Trout fishing in Cali
Can be expensive.
Free and well-favored,
No-names and others’ castoffs
Find their own success.
East coast import
Finds rain not to his liking
Even under roof.
Wash likes sac bunting.
His fellow skippers are glad
To accept the out.
by Michael X. Ferraro
Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.
Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!
Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)
Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.
Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.
Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.
One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?
Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.
by Stephen Jones
Kuroda doesn’t speak much,
his pitching does. He translates
well enough on the mound.
Right now, if words do sound,
he’s Cy Young material,
not by boost – just plain factual.
by D. Bruce Brown
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn! Who ARE these guys?
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch
Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?
They perform for loyal fans
Wait! Ichiro’s where?
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up! Git up! Stretch!
D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997. He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.