Browse all poems and songs in the 'Stu Shea' Category


Fair Ball Lined into His Nuts

by Stuart Shea

The bigger they are, the more they hurt…
So Juan Uribe got a just dessert
With a liner in the groin.
And that’s not a roll of coins,
And he’s NOT happy to see you.

 

From GQ: Juan Uribe Has a Very Good Excuse for Not Wearing a Cup



Sox Machine, Gears Stripped

by Stuart Shea

The Sox Machine has broken down.
J-Roll is rolling out of town,
The latest on Latos isn’t good—
He’s available in trade for a cord of wood.
Nobody thinks it’s the manager’s fault
That the bullpen’s a victim of nightly assault
While the power hitters ain’t hittin’ or powerin’—
And it’s far too late to re-sign Moose Skowron.

 



Bryce is Nice

by Stu Shea

The harpies harp on Harper
They say he’s immature
I’ll take him and his moods
Whether pure, poor, or manure.

 



Torii Hunter is Retiring

By Stuart Shea

Farewell, Torii,
Always a good story . . .
With your amazing catches,
Your religious dispatches,
Your homers and doubles,
Your OBP troubles.
You don’t like gay marriage,
But you don’t have to get one,
And I hope you enjoy the rest of your life,
With your kids and your wife.

 



The Alcoholic Cub Fan’s Next Request

By Stuart Shea

I’d rather drink Harvey’s Bristol Creme
Than watch Matt Harvey shut down my team.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.