The Ballad of Nyjer Morgan
By Stuart Shea
Nyjer Morgan? What a jerk,
Putting catchers out of work.
Doesn’t get on base a lot,
Doesn’t use the speed he’s got.
Doesn’t understand the game,
Hasn’t got an ounce of shame,
Fighting with obnoxious fans,
Tossing baseballs in the stands.
The silver lining to this song?
He won’t be here for very long.
K KO
By Stuart Shea
If Roger goes to court,
It’ll be an unfamiliar sport,
Where there’s no way to throw inside
Or otherwise use horsehide.
Who will decide?
When Roger’s in the book,
How will all the numbers look?
Seven Cy Youngs should say it all,
But the Feds are gonna have a ball
About Winstrol.
K-Rod, Relief Ace
By Stuart Shea
.
K-Rod, relief ace,
Why smash your father-in-law in the face?
3 Mil down the drain,
And you won’t ever pitch for the Mets again.
K-Rod, bad thumb,
Going to court when the surgery’s done.
You didn’t bend–only break,
And your life has changed from one mistake.
Dangerous
By Stuart Shea
A sphere spins towards the head.
A comebacker cracks a pitcher’s skull.
The outfield wall claims another body.
A collision takes out two.
A knee snaps.
A labrum tears.
A dream dies.
It’s a violent game.
Sometimes, it’s a shame.
Posted 8/8/10
Deadline Day!
By Stuart Shea
Deadline day is coming!
Whose lives will be uprooted?
What players will be traded
Like cargo to be scooted?
Will the Yankees snag a pitcher,
The Tigers a receiver?
The White Sox need a hitter,
The Dodgers a reliever.
The Diamondbacks are out to deal,
The Cubs would like to trade,
And Kansas City always wants
To trim payroll a shade.
Ted Lilly and Roy Oswalt,
Dan Haren and Dotel,
Dunn’s a done deal also
Once their clubs decide to sell.
So ship out all those veterans,
Young prospects for to grab,
’cause clubs in flag contention
Always have to take a stab.
