Rabbit Ears

by Stuart Shea

“Rabbit Ears,” the fans all say . . .
“Rabbit Ears,” stick to the play!

Don’t chase after players; don’t be dumb,
Don’t look for a reason to use your thumb

Don’t be so sensitive to criticism,
Even if your work is seen through a prism

That blows up each and every mistake
That a home plate umpire seems to make.

Otherwise, plate umpires soon may be
As useful as rabbit ears on a TV.


Published in Fans, Pure doggerel, The Game Itself | Link to this poem | No Comments

Random Drug Pests

By Hilary Barta

Arrieta keeps throwing the heat
Talking heads say they know he’s a cheat
“Jake has got to be juiced.”
“Guys this hot get a boost.”
They’ll be fed, and it’s crow they will eat.


If you love limericks like every red-blooded American, you need to check out Hilary’s movie-and-pop-culture limerick site, LimerWrecks, every day.

Published in Chicago Cubs, Chicago Cubs, Food, Limerick, Scandals | Link to this poem | No Comments

White Sox Thanks for Danks

by James Finn Garner

Dear Lord, we now give thanks
That your boy, our John Danks,
Is feeling stronger every outing
And confident about an
Improvement in delivery
That’ll sure make batters quivery.
We’re grateful that he never quits
And seemed unfazed by all those hits
He serves with regularity
(Another branch of White Sox Charities?)
And his positivity with the team–
He remembers just what “Grinder” means
And loves this game more than anyone–
But it’d be great if he ever won.


Published in Chicago White Sox, Fans, James Finn Garner, Players, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | 1 Comment

Giving the Mudhens the Bird

by James Finn Garner

He flubbed a fly, then flipped the bird
Tyler Collins’ pique was absurd
Smart Tigers fans knew when to boo
Now Toledo laments, “What did we do?”


Published in Detroit Tigers, Fans, James Finn Garner, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | No Comments

Baseball Altamont

by the Nightmares


Published in Ballparks, New York Mets, Songs and Parodies, video | Link to this poem | No Comments

Giving the Mudhens the Bird

Baseball Altamont

Ever Linked

16 Runs and What Do You Get?

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Extra Innings

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Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.