Au Revoir, Dusty

Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.

 

Houston: Lost at Home

by Rajesh C. Oza

In 2019, playing baseball’s cheaters,
The Nats won the Series on the road.
Still tagged as the sport’s deadbeaters,
The Astros carried the warts of a toad.

In 2023, with Bochy managing heroic,
The Rangers won at Minute Maid.
With Dusty chewing on a toothpick,
The Astros prayed and flayed.

Sure, they have 2017 and 2022,
But 2017 was banged on a trash can,
And 2022 was too good to be true,
For a team that warranted a ban.

Stealing signs left the ‘Stros stained
And unable to win at home.
Perhaps they should’ve remained
Hapless but honest in the Dome.

George Carlin famously suggested,
“In baseball the object is to go home.”
But when your Series ring is contested,
You are banished to aimlessly roam.

 

An Ode to Leody

by James Finn Garner

A master thief is Leody Tavares
Stealing home runs from over tall fences
Think one is long gone?
Oh hun, you’d be wrong
He’s the David Niven of Texas’ defenses.

 

The Battle of Texas

by James Finn Garner

The Rangers were in danger
Of continuing their slide
Put their boots on ‘gainst Houston
To defend Dallas pride.

Young Josh Sborz lost the first war
While Altuve, Dubon went yard
Then batters were hampered by reliable Framber
Who didn’t make it look so hard.

For the wild card race, they went with an ace
Facing JV — the showdown was set
But ol’ Max Scherzer came out the worser
And they rode off in the sunset.