Browse all poems and songs in the 'Youth' Category


Filter the Umpire!

by Michael X. Ferraro

Yadi Molina was taken aback
He thought Nelson Cruz was up there to hack.
But the catcher got thrown by this request:
“Please snap a quick pic of me and Joe West.”

Nelson Cruz stopped the All-Star Game to pose for a photo with umpire Joe West

 

Late-breaking scouting report:

Yadi Molina: still catches, throws, hits,
But also could be the next (Annie) Liebowitz.

 



All-Star Clerihews, Part II

Aaron Judge
Wants to leave a ball-shaped smudge
On the bleacher seats
Of every ballpark he meets.

Jose Altuve
Is feeling real groovy
Slulrping down shaved ice
And driving around like “Miami Vice”.

Chris Sale
Drinks a pail
Of prune juice before each start–
That face is him holding in every fart.

Zack Cozart
Isn’t much for art.
He thinks that big thing by Red Grooms
Indicates use of ‘shrooms.

 



Don Zimmer

by Hilary Barta

An ardent and ballsy debater,
At arguing calls none was greater
His jowls had a fit
As he howled and he spit
A gnarly and balding old tater.

 



Is Baseball Too Slow for Modern Times?

by Stephen Jones

If you breathe analytics
And you eat numeral cryptics…
You will probably say so.

(And don’t forget the younger fanbase.
It wants everything like a race,

Where even a ballpark’s serenity
May get tweaked by “modernity”.)

But if you sit in the stadium,
Where its roar is like an ocean…
Most will definitely say “No”.

(For them, it’s like a small vacation
From the day-to-day vexation;

For them, it’s like a vertical beach,
With dog and beer in easy reach.)

Timeless, baseball’s a contradiction;
That’s a part of its evolution.
It’s a “hurry up” place … to go slow.

 



A Tale of Two Cities

by Alan P. Rudy

Our freshman got promoted to varsity,
He was raking and dealing while at JV . . .
The big guys were facing adversity.
Why, oh, why have they done this to me?!

Wait, what? They’re not starting him at third?!
Coach’s sending him on a line drive to left . . .
The ball’s up the line, the catcher . . . my word,
Collision! The umpire’s tossed him, the turd!

Suspended three games for failing to slide
In his first game, his new teammates loved it.
Back in, he’s comfortable, emotions elide,
But pitching Game Two, oh! We almost died!

The guys quite like him, though not yet 15.
The coaches just start him, it’s still unexpected . . .
Almost rounding to normal, it must be a dream.
We worry and fret, while joyous and keen.

 

Alan P. Rudy, father of two ball-playing boys, is an associate professor of sociology at Central Michigan University.

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