Roger Clemens
by Stephen Jones
Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot
Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league
His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance
An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed
End of Mariano: The Poem
by Hart Seely
Whiffed Piazza, Harold Baines,
Eric Davis, Hardrock Raines.
Batters swung and bade goodbye,
Carlos Beltran, Russell Dye.
BJ Surhoff, Albert Belle,
Junior Griffey, Pat Burrell.
None of them could solve his tricks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.
Struck out Nomar, Randy Wynn,
Tori Hunter, Tony Gwynn.
Mighty bats would disappear,
Juan Gonzalez, Rusty Greer,
Jeffrey Hammond, Jim Thome,
Julio Franco, Jason Bay.
Silent went their famous sticks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.
At 41, not nearly through,
ERA still under two.
Twelve times in the All-Star game,
Sure bet for the Hall of Fame.
Greatest pitcher still alive,
Could have gone ’till 45.
Who among us saw the fix
When the gods sent Jayson Nix?
Hart Seely’s dangerous book, The Juju Rules, is available now in bookstores and at Amazon.
Joba: The Poem
by Hart Seely
President Lincoln, skip that show!
Amelia Earhart, please don’t go!
Dillinger, don’t trust that vamp!
Joba, please . . . avoid that tramp.
JFK, don’t take that ride!
Dr. King, sir, stay inside!
Julius Caesar, ditch that crown!
Joba, jump . . . just don’t come down.
Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
America, free beer for all!
Mariano, please don’t go!
Joba . . . say it isn’t so.
Hart Seely’s new book, The Juju Rules: Or How to Win Ballgames from Your Couch, is now in bookstores. He also runs the essential Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught.
Phil Hughes, What Happened to the Dream?
by David Bellel
Hughes, what happened to the dream?
You were once wonderful
The future ace of the team
What happened to the fastball of yours?
Now just a bp, gopher ball of yours
Batters granted big smiles from yours,
Sadly and truly.
Hughes, a juicer under a cloud?
We should have traded you away
But the gashman didn’t allow
We’d have IPK to ourselves
Alone and apart.
Not on a Padre team
But safe into our hearts.
Boston/New York Preseason Game, March 22nd
by Stephen Jones
How quickly one forgets
last year’s Red Sox implosion
or the Yankees playoff exit
when even now – it’s only
preseason – the two meet
again like history-magnets
and this year’s promise
of rivalry running deep deeper
than any pundit prediction
or Las Vegas line
