Browse all poems and songs in the 'Broadcasters' Category


Say It Is So, Joe

by Hilary Barta

“Buck’s been canned” are the words which we pray.
You’d be banned if we fans had our way.
We can’t stand you, now please stay away.
Here’s a grand, there’s a highway, go play.

 



Off Season, On the Bright Side

by Hilary Barta

Goodbye pitches and homers well struck
So long switch-hits and gnome-beards for luck
No more blasts, no more clout
That’s the last, final out
It’s a bitch–but there’s no more Joe Buck.

 



Captain Nepotism

by Hilary Barta

Stupendous long blasts have been struck!
Tremendous big bats run amok!
The game has gone mad!
It’s shameless and bad!
Please end this at last! Dump Joe Buck!

 



In the Lick of Time

by James Finn Garner

In LA balls were thrown and bats swung
Even good old Vin Scully seemed young
The game’s great again
So can someone explain
What the hell is the deal with the tongues?

 



Say Goodbye to These Retirees

by James Finn Garner

As the leaves turn from green to brown
And we rekindle antipathy for Joe Buck
Let’s recall players whose careers are done
And their stories of drive and hope and luck.

Jered Weaver, strikeout ace,
Can now just putter around his place.

Atlanta’s Frenchy, Jeff Francouer
Will now as a TV color man tour.

SF fans can thank Matt Cain
For embiggening the Jints again.

Likewise, Ryan Vogelsong
Can practice bird calls all day long.

Joe Nathan will have to find his thrill
Somewhere other than the bullpen hill.

And Nick Swisher, quintessential bro,
Will just leave a trail of grit where’er he goes.

To these and all other retirees
Thank you for the thrilling years.
Now, with us, relax near the TV,
Watch some playoff ball and enjoy some beers.

 

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