Would You Like To Run the O’s?
by James Finn Garner
How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!
Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie: (whispering) My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.
Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself.
And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time.
So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….
Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight.
Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Hey, Tony Italiano
by David Bellel
The ‘birds were turned back by Napoli
And their hitting missed the scenery
Ron’s dances and Punto’s charming wrongs
But wait a minute, something’s wrong…
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
No, no, no; no World Series win for you, you Sicialiano
Was It The Last Dance?
by David Bellel
Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no, their last chance?
To get us to a big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re sad
We’re so, so sad
So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance Thurs night
Was it the last dance?
The last dance for John and Suzy’s broadcast love
No, no their last chance?
To get us to the big dance Thurs night
We need them beside us
Beside us, to guide us
Their boldness, that unfolds us
‘Cause when they’re glad
We’re so, so glad
So let’s not dance the last dance
No, no last dance
No, no last dance thurs night
You can find more of David’s work throughout the Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…..caught.
Good-Bye, Ozzie
By Stu Shea
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
The Baseball Project, “1976″
With the news this week of R.E.M’s final retirement, we present a song from The Baseball Project, a labor of love from R.E.M. member Peter Buck and session man Steve Wynn:
For more on The Baseball Project, visit their website.
