Blame It On The Yankees
by Sid Yiddish
.
A 27th title
A 27th crown
I don’t believe it,
Did those Yankees buy it off like the 2003 Florida Marlins?
What’s a little extra cash between friends?
What’s a little stash hidden, what’s a little trash talk, just coz other teams didn’t win?
Blame it on the Yankees.
Since 2001 have been buying players black-market style, just to satisfy the fans.
Blame it on the Yankees
When A-Rod takes steroids
Blame it on the Yankees
When umpires look the other way
Blame it on the Yankees
When a new stadium was built and cost a ton
Blame it on the Yankees
When the new yarns are spun
Blame it on the Yankees
When the old legends mysteriously disappeared
Blame it on the Yankees
When they played on our worst fears
Blame it on the Yankees
When the Phillies lost hard
Blame it on the Yankees
When they caught the fans off-guard
Blame it on the Yankees
When they pulled hits out of thin air
Blame it on the Yankees
When they won the World Series fair and square
Blame it on the Yankees
Blame it on the Yankees
Because they always will.
.
Posted 11/11/2009
Southpaws on Parade
by Todd Herges
.
Quick trips up are saved,
or so it is said,
for lefties who hit with good pow’r;
the finest of gems
scouts try hard to mine
are sinister live-armed hurlers.
Oh-nine is the year
these truths can be seen
on both of the teams still alive.
For while Pujols is great
and Vlad’s bat can’t wait
they stand in the box close to third;
while Lincecum’s crazed
and Beckett is made
They’re now taking showers at home.
The teams that are left
are those who chose best,
hitched wagons to maladroit men.
Howard, Hideki,
Damon and Utley,
on demand can take the ball yard;
Cliff Lee and C.C.,
Cole Hamels, Andy,
quite clearly show that they’ve got game.
So now we are left
to watch quite impressed
A southpaw-filled Classic on Fox.
(The lefthanders playing in the World Series this year are: pitchers Phil Coke, Damaso Marte, Andy Pettitte, CC Sabbathia, Antonio Bastardo, Scott Eyre, Cole Hamels, A.J. Happ, and Cliff Lee; hitters Robinson Cano, Johnny Damon, Brett Gardner, Eric Hinske, Hideki Matsui, Paul Bako, Greg Dobbs; Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Raul Ibanez, Matt Stairs; plus switch hitters Melky Cabrera, Nick Swisher, Mark Teixeira, Jorge Posada, Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino. Twenty-six men. Over half of the two combined rosters. Juuust a bit outside the “normal” distribution of lefties among the general public.)
.
Posted 11/2/2009
The Ballad of Susan Finkelstein
by James Finn Garner
.
The girl had “Phillie Fever”,
A massive fall attack.
The only cure required her
To lay down on her back.
To nab a pair of tickets,
What must a clever girl do?
A “Dirty Utley”? “Around the Lidge”?
A “Hamels Camel” or two?
But the cops horned in, and now her pic’s
Been spread across the nation.
Next time, p’raps, she first should try
Some Manuel stimulation.
.
Posted 10/29/2009
