Browse all poems and songs in the 'Philadelphia Phillies' Category


Baseball-Poetry Slam



“Now Stinking for the Phillies…”

By Stuart Shea

Darin Ruf ain’t got the stuff,
And Ryan Howard’s no longer powered.
Ben Revere has value unclear,
And there’s little regard fo’ Antonio Bastardo.
Pity Dominic Brown, whose average is down,
And Cody Asche, who is far from flashy.
Even Cliff Lee and Carlos Ruiz
Are suffering from the same disease.
So who’s the chiff of this team of stiffs?
Ruben Ameero, who seems like a zero.

 



All-Star Clerihews #1

by Hugh Briss

Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.

Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.

Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.

Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.

Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.

 



Phillies Sweep Brewers

by Tom Martin (@brew_haiku)

Game 90. #Phillies 3 #Brewers 2
It’s a weird feeling
Losing more games than winning
Small shades of last year…

Game 91. #Phillies 7 #Brewers 5 (in 4th inning)
Overbay Grand Slam
Seems like a long time ago
Pitching is shaky.

Game 91. #Phillies 9 #Brewers 5 (in 5th inning)
Hey Gorzelanny
Good to see you in the game
Please, no more runs though!

Game 92. #Phillies 4 #Brewers 1
Let’s see, we have lost
4 straight and 8 out of 9
Time for slide to end.

Game 93. #Phillies 9 #Brewers 1
That sinking feeling
Both game and Division leads
Evaporated.

Tom Martin writes haiku for every single Brewer game. Follow him on Twitter @brew_haiku.



National League East 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

BRAVES
Upton up and down?
Uggla ugly or upward?
Freddie a Free Man?

MARLINS
Now that everyone
Has left the stadium, the
Rebuild can begin.

METS
A farewell to arms—
No Harvey, no Mejia?
And one fat Colon.

NATIONALS
Welcome, Matt Williams!
Now that you’re here, it’s assumed
You’ll win right away.

PHILLIES
Old men, broken down,
Troll the green fields of the town,
Searching for what’s gone.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

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NL Central

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NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.