Browse all poems and songs in the 'Philadelphia Phillies' Category


National League East 2014 Spring Training Haiku

by Stuart Shea

BRAVES
Upton up and down?
Uggla ugly or upward?
Freddie a Free Man?

MARLINS
Now that everyone
Has left the stadium, the
Rebuild can begin.

METS
A farewell to arms—
No Harvey, no Mejia?
And one fat Colon.

NATIONALS
Welcome, Matt Williams!
Now that you’re here, it’s assumed
You’ll win right away.

PHILLIES
Old men, broken down,
Troll the green fields of the town,
Searching for what’s gone.

 



The Agony of the Agate

by Michael X. Ferraro

Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.

Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!

Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)

Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.

Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.

Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.

One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?

Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.



Brown’s Derby

by Michael X. Ferraro

When Dominic Brown uncoils like a snake
of his intent there can be little doubt.
In May he took ZERO free passes,
but walloped a dozen balls out.

So the Philly fans rise as one
when the lanky kid takes a cut.
It’s only a .500 year so far,
and yet, and but, and but . . .

 



The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman)

by James Finn Garner

Chapman might have nerves of steel,
But munchies? His Achilles heel.
Before the Phils two homers laced, he
Ate 18 guava-cream-cheese pastries.

Now, Bambino gobbled beer and dogs,
Yardbird the only dish for Boggs,
But to abate your pulse like lava,
Try pastries filled with cheese and guava.

Closers are a breed apart
A fiery mix of arm and heart.
If vict’ry’s what you long to taste, be
Wary of inhaling pastries.

 



Gaffe-Be-Gone

by Michael X. Ferraro

Cliff Lee put the “Lee” into “lean,”
So Aroldis picked him off clean.
.      Now no ducks on the pond
.      But the Phils did respond,
With the Kratz-Galvis Longball Machine!

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.