Browse all poems and songs in the 'James Finn Garner' Category


Rick Monday

by James Finn Garner

Rick Monday
Born on Tuesday
Homered off Seaver Wednesday
Traded on Thursday
Saved the flag Friday
Broke Canada’s heart Saturday
Retired on Sunday
And that’s why people still talk about Rick Monday.

 



Life is Good!

by James Finn Garner

Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff.
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp.
Your drapes caught fire from a knocked over lamp—

Relax!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp—

Smile!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

Your yard now faces a new freeway ramp.
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp.
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp—

Life is good!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

First posted 2/13/2008



Congrats to the Carmines (World Series Game #6)

by James Finn Garner

Shane Victorino
Finally killed the Curse of the Bambino
As the Carmines won
The first clincher at home since World War I.

John Lackey
Led the pitchers pack. He
Revelled in his power,
With Uehara, Workman and Tazawa.

Jonny Gomes,
Stephen Drew and Mike Napoli
Came through in Game 6
After playing somewhat crappily.

And Big Papi
Was voted World Series MVP.
Let the cheers ring out near Boston Harbor!
And haul your butts to a good barber!

 



How Boston Broke Loose, in Clerihews (World Series Game #5)

by James Finn Garner

Stephen Drew
Couldn’t hit his shoe
On the floor,
Then he walks in four.

Adam Wainwright
Could’ve pitched all night,
But maybe one less toss
To David Ross.

John Lester
Was no pitch molestor.
He could’ve saved himself the walk
Up to the chalk.

But Jacoby Ellsbury
Didn’t look like he had a worry
In the world,
Then a flare unfurled.

 



Clerihew for Jim Leyland

by James Finn Garner

Jim Leyland
Is beloved from Grosse Ile to Ignace to Zeeland.
All across the mitten
Tiger fans are still smitten.

 

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