Browse all poems and songs in the 'James Finn Garner' Category

Days of Future Past: Blue Jays Edition

by James Finn Garner

Let’s all give a hearty three cheers
For Toronto’s first berth in 23 years.

What was it like in that bygone age?
Steroids in baseball were not yet the rage.

Our phones were attached to our desks.
Melting ice caps did not pose a risk.

Bill Clinton had not been impeached,
And Saturn had yet to be reached.

Newt Gingrich somehow held power.
New York still had its Twin Towers.

But some things were the same long ago:
Bryce Harper still had a toddler’s ego.


Equal Time for Colorado

by James Finn Garner

Colorado’s owed a poem–
It’s years since we have posted one
About the Rocky Mountain State
And everything that makes it great.
The skiing hills, the hiking trails,
Big-time marijuana sales,
The healthy folks, the energy green.
I’m also told they’ve a baseball team.



Fun on the Bus with the Kansas City Monarchs

by James Finn Garner

We rode the bus a lot back then
Murphy was our bus driver
No first name
“Murphy” might’ve been fake too
He was bad business
Gold teeth
Angry eye
A past we never asked about

But reliable
Murphy was reliable
You could always count on him
Hearing one of us on the team shout
(and we did it many times a night)
“Hey Murphy! I think I just saw a police car!”
And hitting the gas
And driving like the devil himself was after him


An Ode for Dave Dombrowski

by James Finn Garner

For all the effort
Restoring glory
The October result’s
The entire story

A franchise reborn
Butts in the seats
Traffic downtown
Pennant repeats

Strong arms and bats–
Some for the ages!–
Might end up mere stats
On old dusty pages

Without a ring
You’re as good as dead
When the Pizza King
Shouts, “Off with his head!”


MLB All-Grain-Tuber-and-Legume Team

by James Finn Garner

1B  Bill Bean
2B  Potato Cueto
SS  Oats DeMaestri
3B  Peanuts Lowrey
LF  Zach Wheat
CF  Billy Beane
RF  Sam Rice
C .   Yam Yaryan
LHP  Beany Jacobson, Peanuts Kantlehner
RHP  Lee Wheat, Colter Bean, Goober Zuber
MGR  Johnny Oates



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