Browse all poems and songs in the 'James Finn Garner' Category


Life is Good!

by James Finn Garner

Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff.
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp.
Your drapes caught fire from a knocked over lamp—

Relax!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp—

Smile!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

Your yard now faces a new freeway ramp.
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp.
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp—

Life is good!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

First posted 2/13/2008



What I Learned from Ernie Banks

by James Finn Garner

From Jackie Robinson
I learned about grace under the gun

From Satchel Paige
I learned of the illusions of age

From Dick Allen
I learned never to give in

From Hammerin’ Hank Aaron
I learned to keep on keepin’ on

But from Ernie Banks
I learned to give thanks.

RIP. Let’s play two, forevermore.

 



Instant Replay

by James Finn Garner

Eric Hosmer’s modified mullet
MadBum casually firing bullets

Superfans from South Korea
The panicked look on Kelvin Herrera

Phantom sighting of the Freak
Plugging Aoki’s defensive leak

Peavy shelled like the Hellespont
Escobar laying down a bunt???

Joe Buck opining from his tuchus
Of redoubtable Mike Moustakas

Gordon’s single to the wall
Cool-as-horchata Sandoval

What the hell is Ned Yost thinking?
I’ll have whatever Pence is drinking

Crawford gobbles up ground balls
Bochy weeps, and Affeldt bawls

Young Joe Panik, Dyson, Cain…
Can we please do it all again?

 



October Replays

by James Finn Garner

While Giants fans
And Royal loyals
watch the see-saw
with short breath
life-and-death

I feel like I do when I’m watching
an old favorite movie,
and the second-from-last scene is playing
as succulently as ever

“I couldn’t be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, it’s possible to get another.”
“Love is eternal. It has been the strongest motivation for human actions throughout history. Love is stronger than life. It reaches beyond the dark shadow of death.”
“Well, nobody’s perfect.”

But it will be over soon, like always,
And time disappears again
like always
And I walk up the stairs in the dark house
And hope to sleep
All the way til morning.

 



There is No “I” in “Royals”

by James Finn Garner

Hey, orange Marlins yahoo,
What gives you the right to
Wear something else than powder blue
Sitting where the world sees you?

You need to blend in with the crowd,
Not sit in garments screaming loud.
So you have a stub — think you can
Crimp our genius marketing plan?

To your Fish you think you’re loyal?
Well, here everyone cheers the Royals.
Your defiance makes the brass see red!
This is America, pal, and don’t forget!

 

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