Browse all poems and songs in the 'James Finn Garner' Category


All Hail Ichiro

by James Finn Garner

So many long years ago
Ichiro
Began spraying hits
And if it seems like it’s
Going to go on forever
(I mean, it never
Looks like he ages),
Remember the pages
Of record holders
Left to molder
When a young stud
Both lucky and good
Works to set a new mark
At the ball park.
In time a new hero
Will surpass Ichiro,
And the passage of time
Cruel and sublime
Will lose some of its sting
As we salute a new king.

 



Moon, Swoon, Baseball in June

By James Finn Garner

On this beautiful summer day in June
The Royals rise and the White Sox swoon
The Astros still dream of their trip to the moon
The Red Sox hope they aren’t peaking too soon
While the Yanks obsess over things picayune
The Rangers and Jays field their share of goons
Tampa ponders a move to Saskatoon. . .

And Epstein’s still the smartest guy in the room.

 



WCRAPPY in Cincinnati

Baby, if you’ve ever wondered,
Wondered whatever became of me,
I’m pitching in the ‘pen in Cincinnati,
Cincinnati, boy are we cra-a-appy.

Getting tired from bailing out our starters
The worst in homers, walks and ERA
Sure, we won’t ever catch the Cubs or Bucs
But with shelling like this, our fans need combat pay.

It’s crappy and I pitch for Cincinnati . . .

 



The Saga of Battlin’ Mike Barrett

by James Finn Garner

A repost for the 10th anniversary…

This is the saga of Battlin’ Mike Barrett,
A tiger of a man with fists of ore.
He’d raise his dukes and take on all comers,
Regardless the color of jersey they wore.

His mighty hands landed many a blow.
He never backed down from a brawl.
But such hardened paws don’t do you much good
When your job’s to be fielding the ball.

 

Originally published 6/14/07.



MLB All-Refrigerator Team

by James Finn Garner

1B  Lefty Herring
2B  Rabbit Maranville
SS  Oyster Burns
3B  Joe Bean
LF  Buttercup Dickerson
CF  Milky Cabrera
RF  Ice Box Chamberlain
C   Yam Yaryan
LHP  William Peppers, Chick Smith
RHP  Sweetbread Bailey, Pete Hamm
MGR  Rawmeat Rogers

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.