Browse all poems and songs in the 'Chicago Cubs' Category


Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: Intro

by Stuart Shea

It was 17 years ago today
The home run chase seemed to save the day
But the numbers weren’t what they seemed
Neither Sosa nor McGwire were clean

Here’s regime change for you (if anybody really cares)
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew!

(skin flute solos)

We’re Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Now come and pee into this cup
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Our game is on the up-and-up

Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew

It’s wonderful to be clean
It gives us such a thrill
To know we’ve purged the game of drugs
Except, of course, for adderall
And liquor pays our bills!

I don’t really want to stop the game
But I’d like to make a little claim
What will happen, can you deduce,
When they legalize a “drug of abuse”?

Have you thought about what that will mean
When 300 million folks ain’t “clean”
Like Sgt. Manfred’s smiling Drug-Test crew?

 

 



Hope Springs a Leak Eternal

by Hilary Barta

Never weep for my Wrigley Field wishes
Though they sleep with the Stygian fishes
They were laid six feet deep
But, decayed, up they creep
And they’ll keep, just like frigging street knishes.

 



National League Central 2015 Spring Training Haiku

By Stuart Shea

Cubs
A Sure Thing is not
called “A Sure Thing” unless it
hasn’t happened yet

Reds
Jason Marquis back?
Surely this is a sign that
the world is ending.

Brewers
For one final spring,
Aramis Ramirez tries
to avoid diving

Pirates
Could Clint Hurdle
be the Bucs’ final hurdle
to winning a title?

Cardinals
Some with a fresh start
Will soar higher than they could
Down in the southland

 



Bleacher Bump

by Hilary Barta

While it’s coming, the day’s drawing near
Where’s a Bum ‘sposed to station his rear?
Though the bleachers ain’t done,
Cheers to each sodden one:
Don’t be glum! There’s no rationing beer!

 



Piggly Wrigley

by Hilary Barta

Running late and still under construction
That’s the state of the Cubs’ run production
Plus the seats the bums prize
Though defeat’s no surprise
Their team’s great — but at blunder and suction.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.