Cub Fans Bid Kid K Adieu
by James Finn Garner
It’s not 14 years.
Really?
Since Kid K choked the Stros?
Ah, but what’s 14 years anyway,
In a Cub fan’s memory?
A short trip to the DL
And he’d be back again
Better than ever
Ready to win
Again, again, again . . .
Then one last, sweet K
On three straight pitches
And a hug from his Justin on the dugout steps
A kid for all time
Youth ready, on tap
Hope in pinstripes
I was always a Cub, I’ve always been a Cub, and I’ll always continue to be a Cub.
What’s 14 years anyway,
In a Cub fan’s memory?
Drought at the Plate
by Hilary Barta
One hundred and four, nothing yet
One hundred and four, not a threat
All those years, win or lose
Always cheers, never boos
One hundred and four of regret
Hilary Barta was recently interviewed by the Chicago Tribune about the upcoming Roy Lichtenstein exhibition at the Art Institute of Chicago. They didn’t mention his Cub fandom, but it’s obviously there between the lines.
A Open Letter to Faux Cub Fans
by Becky Binks and Cary Donham
Rule #1
Back before Harry Caray, Santo, and Hughes
The bleachers held young actors paying their dues.
But Belushi and Murray knew Rule Number 1:
Remember, always, there’s a game going on.
Rule #2
Buy a scorecard, keep score, and follow along.
If you don’t know how, there’s an app on your phone.
Sit your butt down when you hear, “Down in front!”
Remember Rule Number 1: there’s a game going on.
Rule #3
Don’t go to get nachos when a runner’s on base.
Ignore your full bladder, that babe you might chase.
Just get up between innings or when a pitcher is gone.
Remember Rule Number 1: there’s a game going on.
Rule #4
Don’t sit back of home plate and gab on your phone.
When you show up on TV, you’ll look like a clown.
Get back to your scorecard; you might miss a home run.
Remember Rule Number 1: there’s a game going on.
Rule #5
The game lasts nine innings, don’t have any doubt.
Don’t stand for the pitcher until the last out.
Standing adds drama that doesn’t belong,
Remember Rule Number 1: there’s a game going on.
Rule #6
Remember that baseball’s the reason you came,
There’re plenty of sports bars for after the game.
No one cares how much cash you paid your salon,
Remember Rule Number 1: there’s a game going on.
The wife-and-husband team of Becky Binks and Cary Donham intrepidly support the Cubs from the far South Side enclave of Beverly.
Ballad of Rey Ordonez
by The Isotopes
Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com.
The Good, the Bad and the Cubbies
by Hilary Barta
The piss-poor and pitiful Cubs
Weak sis of my city’s two clubs
Only topping the sport
In their stopping just short,
Near-misses and critical flubs
Instead of watching the Cubs, why not check out Hilary’s art work at Surly Hack Attack, or his other limericks at LimerWrecks?
