Browse all poems and songs in the 'Chicago Cubs' Category


Natural Selection for Darwin

by James Finn Garner

Darwin Barney is out of a job
One more part of the unemployed mob
.    To see his kid’s birth
.    He ceded his berth
Now at the playground he’ll get to hobnob.



All-Star Clerihews #1

by Hugh Briss

Troy Tulowitzki
Must be throwing fits. He’s
The top vote-getter among NL jocks,
Yet plays for a bottom-feeder like the Rox.

Andrew McCutcheon
Walks around touching
Each and every light switch
Cuz his OCD is just a bitch.

Anthony Rizzo,
That’s a big favor to owe.
You’ll have to deliver, by gawd,
Before they uncover Chicago’s election fraud.

Chase Utley
Needs a course in geography.
Instead of Minnesota,
He booked a flight to North Dakota.

Jose Altuve:
Smooth move, eh?
Spend the week away from Houston,
Maybe get some fishing done.

 



Jake in June

By Stuart Shea

Freed from the Oriole Way
Was Jake Arrietay
Came to Chicago to play
Did Jake Arrietay.
Mowed down hitters all day
Did Jake Arrietay
With a beard of sunburned hay
Did Jake Arrietay.



Fandemonium

by Hilary Barta

I’m faced with a team that keeps losing
Disgraced, they are not of my choosing
Should I snort and yell “Boo!”,
Or support them, stay true?
Cubs debased-ball is very confusing.

 

Your day should start with a visit to Hilary’s pop-culture-and-monster-movie limerick site, LimerWrecks.  Ask your doctor.

 



Don Zimmer, RIP

by James Finn Garner

Old Zim
When I think of him
Looks like chaw and tar
And a grand har-har
To those squares
Who don’t care
About baseball
And giving your all
For what you love.
And when push comes to shove,
Had Martinez been 70,
Zim would’ve pounded him plenty.

You’re our kind of guy.
Goodbye, Popeye.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.