Browse all poems and songs in the 'Limerick' Category


Natural Selection for Darwin

by James Finn Garner

Darwin Barney is out of a job
One more part of the unemployed mob
.    To see his kid’s birth
.    He ceded his berth
Now at the playground will hobnob.



The Not-So-Sweet Spot (“When Lumber Attacks”, Part 2)

by Michael X. Ferraro

Johnny Cueto’s AB was not bueno
Failed to bunt, so he went all volcano.
Slammed his bat on his leg
to crack like an egg
But it DIDN’T — so now he’s in pain-o.

 

Johnny Cueto Needs to Practice Breaking Bats Over His Knee

 Michael X. Ferraro’s baseball poetry and topical jokes can be found on Twitter @ferrarovision

 



Revenge of the Louisville Sulker

by Michael X. Ferraro

Morrison was very displeased
Felt his bat’s wood must be diseased.
Gave the dugout a whack!
But the bat, it struck back
Now LoMo’s red face has been tweezed.

For more on the “breaking” story, click here.

Michael X. Ferraro is the author of Numbelievable and Tazed and Confused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season

 



Fandemonium

by Hilary Barta

I’m faced with a team that keeps losing
Disgraced, they are not of my choosing
Should I snort and yell “Boo!”,
Or support them, stay true?
Cubs debased-ball is very confusing.

 

Your day should start with a visit to Hilary’s pop-culture-and-monster-movie limerick site, LimerWrecks.  Ask your doctor.

 



Cubbies and Commies

by Hilary Barta

Sox slugger Abreu is hot
While the ugly-ass Cubbies are not
So much fun for the Hose
While the Cubs decompose
Is it drugs? Or a Communist plot?

 

Jose Abreu won both AL Player of the Month and AL Rookie of the Month for his record-breaking performance in April.  He led the majors in HRs (10), RBIs (32), total bases and extra-base hits, and also set major league rookie records for each of those categories.

 

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