Browse all poems and songs in the 'Players' Category


Wacha-Mole

By Stuart Shea

Matheny hoped for damage control
As each reliever dug a hole.
Choate was awful, Maness ehh,
Rosenthal wild, Martinez bleh.

Who is left to call on, then?
Wacha’s down there, in the pen…
He hasn’t pitched for several weeks,
But nothing’s left that doesn’t leak.

See one problem, cause another–
That’s how bullpens work, my brother.
How to fix this bullpen bleed?
Get a bigger lead.

 



To the Fans: What Do You Want?

by Stephen Jones

“It seems all the offense has gone away
From the games of this October play.”
Fans—you may voice dissatisfaction,
But your recall?  Less than perfection.

You don’t go clamor to the MLB:
“Get rid of steroids—now—1, 2, 3,”
And then, irate, turn to complain
When you get a low-scoring game.

The long-ball, tape-measure circus is done –
And for the most part, its PEDs gone –
But maybe suffocating pitching’s the reason
For all the goose eggs this playoff season.

Whatever else, it’s worth repeating:
You can’t have it both ways this playoff season.

 



Baseball Record

by Steven D. Johnson

Five hundred eleven – the wins of Cy
near three sixty-seven – the bat of Ty
But in baseball heaven, just blink an eye . . .
.    and records will be broken.

Just look at Babe Ruth – seven hundred fourteen
.    To tell you the truth, his home runs were seen
.        to hold a record not passed – thirty-nine years, ‘til alas
Hank Aaron’s bat was woken.

Yet there is a record that will ever stand,
.    but it’s not Ted Williams, and it’s not Stan the Man
.        don’t look to Tris Speaker, don’t bank on Pete Rose
.           for this baseball record every ballplayer knows
.    belongs, yes it does, to another.

It’s not for stolen bases – though Oakland’s a believer
.    nor is it held by aces – like Gibson, Ford or Seaver
No, the sole baseball mark that will hold in every park
.    belongs to father, son, and brother.

The record that won’t break, held through highs and heartache,
is going seven-for-seven, every baseball season week
.    since 1911 – now that is quite a feat!
It’s keeping baseball alive since 1925.
It’s zero games missed since 1886.
It’s giving ballplayers a reason
.    to thrive in baseball season.

Yes, the only baseball record
.    that will maintain its stand
.        belongs to the beloved,
.            committed baseball fans!

 



C.J. and the Angels Go Home

By Stuart Shea

Poor C.J. Wilson.
It’s now a matter of “What if…”
After his bad outing,
It’s the Angels’ OFF-season of the whiff.

 



Goodbye Tigers

By Stuart Shea

Could be the end of an era
For the boys in the Old English D,
Max, V-Mart, and Torii may go,
But they’re stuck with Ausmus
And a bad bench and bullpen
Unfortunately.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.