by Michael X. Ferraro
Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.
Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!
Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)
Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.
Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.
Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.
One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?
Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.
by Stephen Jones
In this tired story fueled, it seems,
by personal and institutional greed,
will suspension clear the smoke?
HGH and PEDs, the fiery secret
formula lurking hidden in MLB . . . then
one astute comment is its equation:
“Average talent becomes good,
good talent becomes great, and
great talent reaches the Hall of Fame.”
(In the past, the tightrope dance between
denial and admission seemed to mirror baseball -
where business often outweighed the game.)
But not this time: the list of the alleged is
too long, the evidence too compelling. MLB
will clean house, Selig will have his legacy.
To note: Braun may get his money, so may
others to be named. But Hall of Fame status
is unreachable . . . and no asterisk need apply.
by Doug Fahrendorff
Of Brewer fans
Fades in the heat of mid-summer
Multiple problems emerge
Braun and Biogenesis
Injuries to key players
Starting pitching meltdown
Bright spots in a lost season
Segura and Gomez
Lucroy and Aoki
Still defeats pile up
Early draft pick seems assured
Shrouded in questions
by D. Bruce Brown
Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever
D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997. He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.
by Michael X. Ferraro