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The Race for Second Place

by James Finn Garner

The Central race is shaping up, but nobody had reckoned
The Brewers, Cubs and Redbirds in a three-way race for second.
The pitching ranks as adequate, if no one pulls up lame.
The hitting has shown promise and can sometimes win a game.

But the bullpens can’t be trusted, and defensive play is worse.
It’s hard to jump a bandwagon that looks just like a hearse.
Come on, guys, we know you dream of golf and going fishin’.
But the rules are clear–they state SOMEONE must win the division.

Posted 9/13/07 

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Verlander’s No-Hitter

by Anonymous

One way that this year’s Verlander-ing

Was different than classic philandering:

Pudge set it up with his pandering,

Aided by expert ball-handling,

But after all their energy-expending,

The Brewers had blue balls at the ending.

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Here’s to the Men of Milwauk

by Stu Shea

Here’s to the men of Milwauk,

Who are making the baseball world talk.

There’s a Hardy man at short and a Gross in reserve,

While the pitching staff’s Sheets are quite billowy.

Bill Hall runs ’em down while Craig will give Counsell

And Prince Fielder’s body is pillowy.

Yes, the Brew Crew is back in Milwauk,

Giving all its opponents a shock.

The rotation has been solid despite their less-known names,

And Francisco Cordero slams doors.

Though the roof of their park still sports a few holes,

The beer is the only thing that pours.

Yes, the Brew Crew is ready to rock,

Now that Bud Selig’s name’s off the block.