Roger Clemens
by Stephen Jones
Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot
Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league
His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance
An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed
A Pair of Odes to Chris Davis
………………………………………………………………………………..
Taking Higher Ground
by Michael X. Ferraro
Chris Davis’s 0-fer-8 night ended in bliss.
Five times did the DH swing-swing-swing and miss.
So, post-platinum sombrero, why the big grin?
‘Cause he tossed two scoreless and picked up the win.
………………………………………………………………………………..
The Ballad of Chris Davis
by Stu Shea
How does a player go 0-for-8
And still win himself the game ball?
Move from DH to the pitching mound
And make major-league hitters look small.
Get Off His Lawn!!
by Michael X. Ferraro
Jamie Moyer, long of tooth,
Nabs a win at 49.
Never pitched to ol’ Babe Ruth
But babysat him one time.
Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.
Red Sox Furor Over Bobby Valentine Candor
by Stephen Jones
How thin-skinned Red Sox players
Seemingly are off-stage
Dramatically running to defend
“Slighted” comrade Youkilis
It seems nothing in Boston functions
Without turmoil
And there’s no such thing as “just a blip”
On Boston’s radar
So what’s next in Bean . . . no
“Diva” Town?
Saddle up City of Boston
For a bumpy summer stage
Expert Color Commentary Prediction Haiku
by John Shea
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
“They might break even
if the young pitching improves.”
We’ve heard this before.
BOSTON RED SOX
After a tough loss
the new manager searches
for false-nose glasses
SEATTLE MARINERS
Jesus can create
a feast from loaves and fishes,
but Jesus can’t catch.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
With steroids now banned
normal aging will resume.
The cliff draws near.
DETROIT TIGERS
Trying to play third
when first base is a stretch could
drive a man to drink.
