Browse all poems and songs in the 'Baltimore Orioles' Category


American League East 2014 Spring Training Haiku

By Stuart Shea

BLUE JAYS
Like other Canucks,
Jays fly south to Florida
But must return soon.

ORIOLES
“Is his knee healed up?”
What about the pitching? The–
“Is his knee healed up?”

RAYS
Wil Myers lead off?
Wil he be a new Joe D?
Wil success spoil him?

RED SOX
A bee swarm hovers,
Scaring off the ballplayers.
Nature owns nature.

YANKEES
The old men dream on,
Echoes of glory cascade
In crisp March sunshine.

 



From a Central Division Fan Who Hadn’t Been Paying Much Attention

by James Finn Garner

What th’ — BOSTON won the East?
Soaring up to best from least?
The experts’ toe tags read “Deceased”
But New York’s competitiveness ceased,
Baltimore’s upward path was greased.
Bet big on the Jays? You’re fleeced.
Of seafood the Carmines made a feast,
Muzzling that Tampa beast.
My faith is shaken — oh, call a priest!
I can’t believe they won the East!

 



The Agony of the Agate

by Michael X. Ferraro

Baseball in August creates many jobs
for travel agents and typesetting slobs.
Rehab assignments, Triple A spot starts,
Pennant aspirants shopping for spare parts.

Roster gods move in mysterious ways–
David DeJesus, three teams in five days?
Colin Cowgill’s grin, Billy Buckner’s frown.
Holy Toledo, Phil Coke’s been sent down!

Some guys can’t clear waivers; others released,
Plus one salary dump in the NL East.
(The Mets helped Pittsburgh in a deal most absurd—
Just tossed them a Buck and flipped them a Byrd.)

Eduardo Sanchez, gone from the big club.
But Ma Arrieta, Jake’s now a Cub!
Brad Boxberger sighs, packs for the bushes.
John Axford heads where the playoff push is.

Contenders reload, pretenders cut bait.
Hey Tuffy Goseswisch, Reno’s your fate.
Jose Constanza the Braves did recall,
with hopes that he’ll help them deep into Fall.

Philly’s less Savery—no Joe in the bigs;
Report sir, at once, to the Iron Pigs.
Ross Wolf’s been optioned to Round Rock Express,
while the Dodgers scooped up Edinson Volquez.

One-line transactions, a queer kind of fame.
Vic Black, you’ve become “Player To Be Named.”
Xavier Avery’s now a Rainier,
maybe Seattle, he’ll see you next year?

Michael X. Ferraro is a writer/producer/lyricist who scans the fine print daily to make sure he hasn’t been outrighted to Lehigh Valley.



From Verse to Worse

by Susan Petrone

Friday’s game against the Twins was one I really hoped we’d win
I figured it  might be a fight. The Twins aren’t great, but they don’t bite.

Of course the question from word go was which Ubaldo J. would show.
The guy with the electric slider, or the one who makes you drink hard cider?

Top of one, bases full, no outs; it looked like it would be  a rout.
Struck out the side, never fear–the Good Ubaldo J. was here!

Ten big strikeouts, holy crap!  Too bad the offense took a nap.
The score read four walks, six hits, and one stinking run to show for it.

Final score was five to one. This is not what you’d call fun.
At losing we are quite adroit, unlike those guys up in Detroit.

Tigers won, so did the Rays. I hope the Orioles beat the A’s.
If it isn’t too pretentious, check the odds at Baseball Prospectus.

We may yet play into October, (yes, THIS October and yes, I’m sober).
Thus I’ll wait to drown my sorrows. Let’s see if they win tomorrow.

 

Susan Petrone blogs about the Tribe at the site, It’s Pronounced Lajaway.



Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

AL East
Boston
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no

Tampa
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine

Baltimore
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell

New York
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?

Toronto
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse

AL West
Oakland
Cespedes homers
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn!  Who ARE these guys?

Texas
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch

Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?

Seattle
In obscurity
They perform for loyal fans
Wait!  Ichiro’s where?

Houston
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago

AL Central
Detroit
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!

Cleveland
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss

Kansas City
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout

Minnesota
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit

Chicago
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up!  Git up!  Stretch!

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

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AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.