by the Village Elliott
For Ned Garver (12/25/1925 – 2/26/2017)
Fourteen years Ned Garver pitched in Bigs,
“Hardest Luck” ever hurled in big leagues.
‘Fifty-One last-place Browns:
Twenty games won with clowns,
Greatest year of hard-luck pitching gigs.
Ned Garver’s big season came in 1951 with the woeful St. Louis Browns (52 – 102), as he posted a record of 20 – 12 (.625), winning 38.5% of the team’s victories. Garver thus became the only 20th century pitcher to win 20 for a team that lost 100 games. (Steve Carlton, amazingly, went 27 – 10 (.730) for the 1972 last-place Phillies (59-97), losing six games in a seasoned shortened at the beginning by a strike lasting 10 days. Carlton led the National League in wins, ERA and strikeouts, while recording a win in 45.7% of his team’s victories. The strike undoubtedly prevented Carlton from joining Garver as the second 20-game winner on a 100-loss last-place team.)
Has become famos
As catcher for the Nats–
Must be the way that he squats.
Likes to golf indoors.
As dangerous as his home gets,
His kids have learned to wear helmets.
When his mind meanders
Imagines himself in toque, cape and shorts
Savior of the Great White North.
Is such a fussy eater
On every dinner date
He asks an ump to brush his plate.
If he had to put dibs in.
Likes all his shrimp jumbo
And when he orders, it takes
A shovel to serve his Baltimore crab cakes.
Likes all kinds of pets
But he has no use
We don’t want to be nosey
But why do the #Giants even appear
At games in odd-numbered years?
by Stephen Jones
The Rays goin’ south
Losers of eleven straight
Well, Tampa is “south”