The End?
By Stuart Shea
The Cubs are the best team in baseball.
So good that your toes may curl.
I’m worried that we may be approaching the end of the world.
A black man may become president.
No matter what sludge Repubs hurl.
I’m worried that we may be approaching the end of the world.
The hole in the ozone layer is wide–
With enough space to fit Terry Forster inside
Our societies reek of fratricide
While starving untold millions have died.
Just like in Kinsella’s great story,
Those in control don’t know what to do.
All I know is that when we all go
We prob’ly won’t bleed Cubbie blue.
Posted 8/15/08
The Baseball Boogie, 1986
The Russians should have invaded when they had the chance….
Mother, May I Slug the Umpire?
by Anonymous, 1886
Mother, may I slug the umpire,
May I slug him right away?
So he cannot be here, mother,
When the Clubs begin to play?
Let me clasp his throat, dear mother,
In a dear, delightful grip
With one hand, and with the other
Bat him several in the lip.
Let me climb his frame, dear mother,
While the happy people shout;
I’ll not kill him, dearest mother,
I will only knock him out.
Let me mop the ground up, Mother,
With his person, dearest do;
If the ground can stand it, mother,
I don’t see why you can’t, too.
Mother, may I slug the umpire,
Slug him right between the eyes?
If you let me do it, mother,
You shall have the champion prize.
Quoted in Crazy ‘08 by Cait Murphy.
Posted 7/28/08
