By Dan Bern
by the Village Elliott
S.F. Giants are streaky this year;
Spans where fans find little to cheer,
Then team’s offense revamps
And they look like World Champs.
Never know where next streak heads from here.
On Jints’ last road trips offense was hot,
But at home lately, offense is not.
With ninth loss in a row,
Tied schneid set long ago
In New York, with Manager Mel Ott.
“Master Melvin” team’s star recent past,
But as manager, Ott was miscast.
Said Bums’ skipper Leo,
“Mel’s nicest amigo,
But, you know that nice guys finish last.”
by the Village Elliott
For Josh Donaldson
“Oh by golly, by gosh,
Why’d Beane have to trade Josh?”
Cried fan who’s an A’s East Bay mourner.
“He belongs with our A’s,
Not up north with the Jays,
There playing Toronto’s hot corner!
Now Josh Donaldson’s the
Of the AL, at least he so plays;
While Beane signs bodies warm,
Without legs, hands or arm,
To play the hot corner for the A’s!”
Reckon my friend forgot
Billy owns part of pot,
Kind of like the Cards and Branch Rickey.*
Deal the A’s made with Beane
When the Red Sox seemed keen,
Suggesting Beane, like Rickey, is “tricky”;
Trading deadline is nigh.
Soon fans might say “goodbye”
To both Scott Kazmir and Sonny Gray,
For I doubt Beane forgot
Like Branch, his piece of pot
Is part of what makes Money Ball pay.
PS: Only took half a day
Till Beane traded away
Scott Kazmir, as we all knew he would,
In return, two unknowns
Causing more A’s fans’ groans,
Knowing these guys are gone if they’re good.
* When Branch Rickey and Cards,
Owned by Breadon, were pards,
Branch got a cut of each deal he made;
With his farm system flush,
Rickey deemed it a “rush,”
To sell players so he is well paid.
“The Pious Hypocrite”
In his office would sit,
Trade players, not year late, one early;
Rickey never looked back,
Busy counting his stack.
Others thought him impious and surly.
by James Finn Garner
1B Bill Bean
2B Potato Cueto
SS Oats DeMaestri
3B Peanuts Lowrey
LF Zach Wheat
CF Billy Beane
RF Sam Rice
C . Yam Yaryan
LHP Beany Jacobson, Peanuts Kantlehner
RHP Lee Wheat, Colter Bean, Goober Zuber
MGR Johnny Oates
By James Finn Garner
1B Juice Latham
2B George Creamer
SS Jack Coffey
3B Bobby Wine
LF Gene Rye
CF Brandy Davis
RF Suds Sutherland
C Punch Knoll
LHP Vinegar Bend Mizell
RHP Mark Lemongello, Clarence Beers
Closer Oil Can Boyd
MGR Norm Sherry