Baseball Lightning
by James Finn Garner
It won’t be for his arm or savvy
Or the hits he gave up left and right.
What we’ll remember ’bout Geremi Gonzales
Is the way he would light up the night.
Posted in memory 7/21/08
The Early Bird Special in Tampa
by James Finn Garner
The Tampa Bay Rays are winning–
A shock in the American East!
It should send the turnstiles spinning
and bring in money for feeding the beast.
But the Juice Box is nobody’s favorite.
A new park would strengthen the team.
But who wants to pay for a new one
While the economy loses its steam?
If the pensioners balk at new taxes,
Here’s how to entice them to pay:
Offer cheap seats before five o’clock
With an unlimited Jell-O buffet.
Posted 7/9/08
Sermon on the First-Place Rays
by James Finn Garner
The first-place Rays?
The Tampa Bay Rays?
Are in first place?
What next? Oy vey!
Will pigs dance plies
As Earth starts to fray?
Or butterflies bray
Like proud dapple grays?
Will roosters now lay
Eggs filled with pate?
Or Felix Pie
Outhit Willie Mays?
Men, count ye the days
Til (the Bible says)
This world is ablaze
in a Doomsday haze!
In previous days
They were Devil Rays.
Deception can pay
In numerous ways.
Oh, kneel down and pray
For a heav’nly stay!
There’ll be hell to pay
For these first-place Rays!
Posted 5/14/08
